Thursday, August 10, 2006

Shut Down and Shut Up

More updates?
Have my sweetheart back. My dear PC. Ai, I'm getting attached.
Today I have bombs dropping all over the place. I tell ya, you ever want to make a soap opera, you come over I'll write you up a good one. And this time the characters will not be made up, and the similarities will not be entirely coincidental!
I am disappointed with somebody right now. To anybody who is actually reading this, it is not you. I know who reads and doesn't read this on a regular basis, so trust me when I say it isn't you.
I may look disappointed these days, and that is because I am , but it is not at you, or with you. I am let down because this person did not learn at all. I know I have to be patient, and wait for him to see the light, as I once did. I know that it took me long, it could take him longer, I say this not because I think I'm better, but because he is already 20 and he sees almost nothing.
He is so incredibly insecure, that it is unbelievable. I didn't think it would be possible when he warned me (in all fairness, he did warn me), but it is. And this is not something to be scornful about, really, it is sad. I am not perfect, not even close, but I like myself enough. Just enough to pull through. Of course there are bad days, life wouldn't be life without them, but we pull through.
I hope that he sees it one day. I hope that someday when he looks into a mirror he won't make a face or wish he looked better. I hope that when he has a bad day, he doesn't immediately take it out on everybody else around him (may I say though, that that is something alot of us are guilty for). I hope that he becomes happy with himself, so that, in turn, he can be happy with somebody, whoever that person may be. I hope that when we meet( we eventually will, our lives and families intertwine) someday, he won't behave badly but be gracious even though he might hate me. Hate is a strong word but it is used, no?
I don't want him to hate me, but I can't force him to like me or change his mind can I? All I can do right now is let him be, and pray that it gets better for him.
Alot of love to Discovery Bay.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

if the fcker acts up again, you know who to come to.

'sawadi'

Anonymous said...

you could come to me too, i know u dun like i when i am angry, but, just say the word. and if u need to rant, ill be there for tht too, among other thingss. lotta love for u. mwah.