Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Propaganda

People will say almost anything to get you to do what they want, and I think this can be applied to the arena of jobs. An employer who is keen on hiring you, might be able to gauge what you want to hear and then feed you the appropriate lines. I think I can be easily convinced and this is not a good trait to possess. Now that I know though, I would like to take steps to think for myself and weigh options carefully before making a decision. Are you easily influenced? There's nothing wrong with admitting it and I think to a certain degree, most human beings are, even if they deny it. Think about the influence advertisements, music videos and sitcoms can have on our minds and the way we think. Don't be fooled into thinking that this hasn't affected you. In some unconscious way, I'm sure it has. It takes effort to think for ourselves which is why many people don't practice this. It takes effort to look within, instead of riding on the waves of external stimuli that bombard us everyday. It takes effort to sit in solitude and experience silence for awhile, away from the bustle of ordinary life. It takes effort to not let what people say affect your single-minded goals but I reckon it will be worthwhile not to give up. Screw the discrimination, deceit and propaganda. Turn your mind inwards and keep your eyes firmly fixed on your goals and uphold YOUR beliefs and values, not your boss or your mother's.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Juncture

It's been a year and nine days since I've been back in Kuala Lumpur, a year that just whizzed by, uncontrollably before my eyes. This has been a challenging year, to say the least. I'm not sure though, if I would have done it differently. Things happen for a reason right? At the moment, the dilemma people my age seem to be facing is that big ugly word: 'job'. Well, actually it's quite a small word, but one that holds many connotations. It's so easy to become jaded, numb and depressed while on the job. And I think it's a sign if you wake up depressed on a Sunday, and dreading the next day before it even comes. Back to work, oh crap, I really don't want to, why is it Sunday, why can't it be Saturday again. These thoughts seem to come around every single Sunday. I suppose the best thing to do would be to suck it up or quit. And then we find reasons why we can't quit, at least not for now. I wish sometimes for some sort of divine intervention, but that's really not how life works. And I always thought of myself as a person who makes things happen. I don't want to be waiting around still, one year from now even. But I still don't know what it is that I have to make happen, I want many things and don't want many things. I read somewhere that the best way to be motivated is to actually think of the things you DON'T want to happen. Well, I don't want to work for someone else. I don't want to be dependent on anybody else. I don't want to be writing advertorial. I don't want my parents to be disappointed. Most of all, I don't want to dread my job. When I think of opening up my own business, the only thing that sticks in my head is that I am against selling useless stuff to people. The only thing that seems useful to me are books, hence, the most viable business for me would be to sell knowledge to people. Malaysia however, is not very big on reading. Judging by the response to the big book sale recently however, maybe there are enough who would visit my store. If I could convince my dad to hand over the money he's probably saving for my wedding, I'm all set. Yea, that's NOT going to be easy, considering the fact that he's planning to get me married off ASAP. You might wonder why I'm not freaking out. Been there, done that. I can't tell you the amount of times my dad has scared the shit out of me this year alone, suddenly bringing up marriage at a quiet lunch and making me run for the hills. Not gonna happen Dad, I'm sorry.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Nietzsche on a Monday

I seem to be writing all my posts from the office, which is where I spend the majority of my time. The itch to get a portable writing instrument is growing stronger by the day, and I reckon it would be a very good investment. Perhaps a shiny iPad or even something less highbrow. Many of my hours have been spent on the road, getting stuck in typical Kuala Lumpur traffic jam which shows no sign of reversing or slowing down. In fact, the general consensus seems to be that it is getting worse by the day. A public holiday in KL is like extra presents on Christmas Day, with the exhilarating feeling of coasting down a usually-packed highway. Freedom, perhaps or just the illusion of it. I'm easily fooled. I had a very unproductive weekend and because of this, I am determined not to have another. The weekend that passed should be used to serve my ever-weakening purpose of Getting Somewhere Good. I'm not sure where I'm going to, to be honest but enough of that already. I had an opportunity to get behind the scenes at a workshop for human rights recently. But because of the way life has been going lately, it was banned because the Malaysian government is made up of homophobes and anti-West pushers. Hypocrisy at its best. I was quite sad because I learned so much in the two days that I was in attendance, and met so many new people. I do enjoy pushing my boundaries, now I just need to find other outlets. There is a blanket of oppression that seems to suffocate Malaysia. Perhaps it is my paranoia talking but I can't help but feel that what goes on behind closed doors are an indicator of a society's health. And I reckon that Malaysia isn't so healthy to be honest. Malaysians don't know how to be true to themselves, myself included. I have been reading a lot on being true to yourself and I think things like these can easily be spun in the wrong direction. Being true to yourself doesn't necessarily mean following every whim and desire. You can't help how you feel but you can choose how you respond or act upon it. Being true means sticking to what you truly believe in, even while remaining open-minded to new suggestions. It is the balance of following your heart and listening to the nagging voice in your head. If something feels wrong, then it probably is. No one can say it isn't wrong, because everyone's perception of right and wrong will differ. Like Nietzsche said: "You do it your way, I shall do it my way. As for the right way and the wrong way, there is no such thing." More on this soon. Gotta get back to my wine-tasting notes. Whoopeeeeeeee!