Here we are, yet again, at a loss for words. Futile promises to finish my story are fruitless indeed.
So much has happened since Wednesday but I'm glad it's all over. Really glad.
I have a new appreciation for the powers that may be. There is something up there, watching over us ungrateful fellas. Trust me on that.
How is Honky-town, you might ask? It is great, actually, thank you. I'm just a tiny bit afraid that I've adjusted to the dress codes so well. I have to say, I am totally honkified. Here is a checklist.
1. I have started carrying three different kinds of lip balm. Just in case.
2. I also keep stock of moisturiser.
3. I have a proper handbag now. Yes, begin the weeping.
4. I actually keep my legs crossed when sitting down.
5. I have boots that are sexy as hell but hurt like a bitch. My toes hate me now.
6. I bump into people regularly and manage to hold a decent conversation that only constitutes of small talk. But small talk is never decent, no?
7. I am starting to enjoy the way my bum freezes over when I take a seat outdoors.
8.I am starting to enjoy the way I freeze over when I am outdoors.
9.I am starting to enjoy the freeze.
10. I eat like a pig but still look like a horse. As far as my eyes can tell.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that the above crap was a way for me to chunk away at what I'm actually feeling.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that I don't know what I'm feeling.
Perhaps the best word is lost.
Us KL people call ourselves city people, but we're not even close. People here are truly hustling their lives away. All I see are rich people hurrying from one place to another.
I can't lie, I love the atmosphere here and the glamour of all the high-end life. I am being treated well because I'm lucky to live with people who can afford it.
But their lives make me sad. Inexplicably sad. Sometimes when I watch them, a small part of me withers and dies, a miniscule portion of my soul becomes hollow and empty. But then I remember that my life is nothing like that, and I hope that it won't ever be like that.
They have everything. Fast car, check. Beautiful house, check. Wads and wads of money, check. Shiny gadgets, check. Expensive handbags, check. Even more expensive wife, check. Bratty children, check.
But they don't have time.
Today I heard the saddest thing.
" I have lived in Hong Kong for more than 20 years, and not once have I taken a walk on the harbour. "
The harbour is basically the jetty, where you can see the skyline and get the whole fantastic view. And a man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse of this because he just can't get away from his job.
This man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse at his family either.
Kids, whatever you do, be good parents. Don't screw your child up. There are ripple effects. The whole world gets hurt.
I'll be back to normal tomorrow. I'm done preaching for today. Actually, I'm not, but it's not the same without my loyal audience.
I got cool souvenirs though! For ALL of you!
p/s- I will read this post next week and wonder why I sounded so emo. Then I will cover my face with my hands and remember that I actually have a choice of posting this up. Then I will groan out loud when I realize that I willingly decided to put this emo piece up.
But I'm trying not to regret what I do.
All in all, this post can't be that embarassing.
Toodles. I'll bring Mil back tomorrow, promise.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I'll Be Back (Say it Arnold-style)
Hello my little birdies. Tweet tweet.
Ah, allow me to curse for awhile.
Bloody comp won't bloody work and dumb pc guy won't come to our stupid house to fix this stupid comp and it all started when my moron brother decided to play this bloody gay game called bloody maple story.
Ah, thank you, sorry about that. By the way, the game's called Maple Story, not Bloody Maple Story, just in case anybody cares. Har har.
Few quick updates, let me breeze you through it!
Book book book sale was on fri-fri-fri day (just so you know, I'm singing this) and it was a-a-amazing. I need a new book shelf. I also need money. Har har, yes I'm beyond broke. But satisfied. You will see me homeless one day but with a huge wheelbarrow filled to the brim with books. What an endearing sight, no? Then one day a Hollywood guy will meet me on the streets (which will then be my home) and offer to make my life into a movie.
And I shall dream on. Just trying to romanticise my blog. Work with me people!
Long awaited reunion on Saturday and it was better than the book sale. (Really).
Non-stop shopping for Hong Kong trip, in 12 hours from now, I will already be at the airport. Eesh, not really looking forward to it, but it will be absolutely lovely to see my grandparents again. (Cue here for AWWWWW)
Went bra-shopping today and it was quite an experience. Funny and embarassing. Will decide if I want to tell my tale. Call me if you want to hear the embarassing bit, I am not entirely shameless. I think.
Will be back on the 29th, and will probably write in here tomorrow as my family in HK are techies already. They have wonderful broadband, which I plan to abuse to no end. Especially for movies. No, not porn you sickos. Movies with actual plots. Like Hindi movies. They have at least 10 different plots ei? Har har.
And finally, saving the best piece of news for the last. My parents finally know about my relationship with my boy.
And they're ok with it. I know they have a million reasons to be against it, and they could have stopped me (like I can be stopped har har) but they didn't. Mainly, they didn't want me to go behind their backs, but I think they have finally allowed me to grow up in their eyes.
One step at a time people. That's what it takes.
No more time to chit-chat. Must go clean hurricanised room.
See you in Hongky town?
(waits for the chorus of YES)
Ah, allow me to curse for awhile.
Bloody comp won't bloody work and dumb pc guy won't come to our stupid house to fix this stupid comp and it all started when my moron brother decided to play this bloody gay game called bloody maple story.
Ah, thank you, sorry about that. By the way, the game's called Maple Story, not Bloody Maple Story, just in case anybody cares. Har har.
Few quick updates, let me breeze you through it!
Book book book sale was on fri-fri-fri day (just so you know, I'm singing this) and it was a-a-amazing. I need a new book shelf. I also need money. Har har, yes I'm beyond broke. But satisfied. You will see me homeless one day but with a huge wheelbarrow filled to the brim with books. What an endearing sight, no? Then one day a Hollywood guy will meet me on the streets (which will then be my home) and offer to make my life into a movie.
And I shall dream on. Just trying to romanticise my blog. Work with me people!
Long awaited reunion on Saturday and it was better than the book sale. (Really).
Non-stop shopping for Hong Kong trip, in 12 hours from now, I will already be at the airport. Eesh, not really looking forward to it, but it will be absolutely lovely to see my grandparents again. (Cue here for AWWWWW)
Went bra-shopping today and it was quite an experience. Funny and embarassing. Will decide if I want to tell my tale. Call me if you want to hear the embarassing bit, I am not entirely shameless. I think.
Will be back on the 29th, and will probably write in here tomorrow as my family in HK are techies already. They have wonderful broadband, which I plan to abuse to no end. Especially for movies. No, not porn you sickos. Movies with actual plots. Like Hindi movies. They have at least 10 different plots ei? Har har.
And finally, saving the best piece of news for the last. My parents finally know about my relationship with my boy.
And they're ok with it. I know they have a million reasons to be against it, and they could have stopped me (like I can be stopped har har) but they didn't. Mainly, they didn't want me to go behind their backs, but I think they have finally allowed me to grow up in their eyes.
One step at a time people. That's what it takes.
No more time to chit-chat. Must go clean hurricanised room.
See you in Hongky town?
(waits for the chorus of YES)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Thursday Afternoon
Hello folks. My little friend has come to visit and I'm so grumpy. It's the hormones I tell you. I've said that before haven't I. I'm currently abusing my rights as a cousin and happily using Payal's laptop while she has to deal with old people downstairs. But it all worked out fine didn't it girly 'cos I was doing the same thing exactly a month ago. Yes dealing with old people while you stretched out like a queen on my bed. Hahaha. Tit for tat. But I hear mom calling.
Anyhoo, I leave for Hk in a week's time and I am sad to go. But I'm getting roaming (wee!) so we can still keep in contact. I'm still here. In spirit. MILAN IS CHEESY!
I'm coming back on the 29th, and am hoping I can escape the clutches of my dad for New Year's Eve. Now I have someone to spend it with. GRIN GRIN.
I don't wanna go downstairs. But I can hear Mom. In my head. Yesterday we went shopping in MV (mind you, my little friend just began visiting yesterday) and we went everywhere with big shopping bags. My feet! They couldn't bare it any longer!!
Just near this shop called Miss Whatever (OMG HOW ORIGINAL) I couldn't take it anymore. I said Mom, ENOUGH, please! She looked at me. Then she looked at all our bags (we had at least 5) and then she said what all Moms say..."But you need shoes."
ARGHH. Then I spied the bright light in my moment of darkness.....
BASKIN ROBBINS.
Oh, how she called to me. Maui Brownie Madness saw my pain and offered itself to me. He said,"come my child, you need nourishment." And I said, "make sure you appear in a cone or I'm not paying for your ass."
Oh my. Ice cream never tasted better. Then I got the only thing I actually liked- new sneakers wee. They're so manly.
WINK.
Yes yes I'm going. I love you all.
Anyhoo, I leave for Hk in a week's time and I am sad to go. But I'm getting roaming (wee!) so we can still keep in contact. I'm still here. In spirit. MILAN IS CHEESY!
I'm coming back on the 29th, and am hoping I can escape the clutches of my dad for New Year's Eve. Now I have someone to spend it with. GRIN GRIN.
I don't wanna go downstairs. But I can hear Mom. In my head. Yesterday we went shopping in MV (mind you, my little friend just began visiting yesterday) and we went everywhere with big shopping bags. My feet! They couldn't bare it any longer!!
Just near this shop called Miss Whatever (OMG HOW ORIGINAL) I couldn't take it anymore. I said Mom, ENOUGH, please! She looked at me. Then she looked at all our bags (we had at least 5) and then she said what all Moms say..."But you need shoes."
ARGHH. Then I spied the bright light in my moment of darkness.....
BASKIN ROBBINS.
Oh, how she called to me. Maui Brownie Madness saw my pain and offered itself to me. He said,"come my child, you need nourishment." And I said, "make sure you appear in a cone or I'm not paying for your ass."
Oh my. Ice cream never tasted better. Then I got the only thing I actually liked- new sneakers wee. They're so manly.
WINK.
Yes yes I'm going. I love you all.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Don't Use Your Mechanisms On me
I deleted my last post as it is not something I would usually write. God knows what possessed me to write it, perhaps it was a final resort to get my anger out. But there are better ways, and I am a better person than that.
Never mind my last post, God knows what possessed me to do many things I have done. But it happens.
What am I afraid of? Nothing. Not even you. Not anymore.
I forgot something very important. Nothing and no one can break me. And if you're actually trying to break me, then what does that say about you? Not much really.
I can see you there, in your sad place. And I can feel sad for you, I can even try and reach in to pull you out. But if you're still that same old sad little person, then there's no help for you.
I ain't perfect. But I'm not a liar. If there's one thing I can say about myself, it's that I know where and when I go wrong. And I am not afraid to admit it. And if anyone thinks otherwise, please do correct me. I welcome what you have to say, if you matter to me.
Tell me where I went wrong.
Never mind my last post, God knows what possessed me to do many things I have done. But it happens.
What am I afraid of? Nothing. Not even you. Not anymore.
I forgot something very important. Nothing and no one can break me. And if you're actually trying to break me, then what does that say about you? Not much really.
I can see you there, in your sad place. And I can feel sad for you, I can even try and reach in to pull you out. But if you're still that same old sad little person, then there's no help for you.
I ain't perfect. But I'm not a liar. If there's one thing I can say about myself, it's that I know where and when I go wrong. And I am not afraid to admit it. And if anyone thinks otherwise, please do correct me. I welcome what you have to say, if you matter to me.
Tell me where I went wrong.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Bleh
This is a word I use often. It is also a good word to describe these holidays.
Say it with me: BLEH.
My heart goes out to my dear- I hope you are ok and I am going to try and cheer you up through my posts. Har har?
Plenty of updating to do here, first things first- something I'm sure we all looked forward to-
PROM NIGHT.
And how was that? Not bad at all, my friends. Pretty damn good. I only wish I could have stayed longer to see everybody wasted and dancing like clowns. People cried, people laughed, people swayed( due to the excessive alcohol) and people err...blended with the shadows (my new name is Shadow I think, for a very good reason..you'll figure it out someday, kid.)
So I owe you a report of prom night, a report of my skit at IGYC, a report of my hol activites and many many book reviews. Hee hee, don't worry you can skip those.
Most exciting part of my day so far: I finally got some eye drops, my eyes have been itching like crazy and they look terribly swollen now, like I've been crying for about 4 hours non-stop. I haven't.
Don't feel bad for me though, it's only 2pm.
I might just get dishwash liquid and then you can get really excited.
Say it with me: BLEH.
My heart goes out to my dear- I hope you are ok and I am going to try and cheer you up through my posts. Har har?
Plenty of updating to do here, first things first- something I'm sure we all looked forward to-
PROM NIGHT.
And how was that? Not bad at all, my friends. Pretty damn good. I only wish I could have stayed longer to see everybody wasted and dancing like clowns. People cried, people laughed, people swayed( due to the excessive alcohol) and people err...blended with the shadows (my new name is Shadow I think, for a very good reason..you'll figure it out someday, kid.)
So I owe you a report of prom night, a report of my skit at IGYC, a report of my hol activites and many many book reviews. Hee hee, don't worry you can skip those.
Most exciting part of my day so far: I finally got some eye drops, my eyes have been itching like crazy and they look terribly swollen now, like I've been crying for about 4 hours non-stop. I haven't.
Don't feel bad for me though, it's only 2pm.
I might just get dishwash liquid and then you can get really excited.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Nervous Laughter
HARR HARR!
Here is an update on the International Youth Geeta Conference (IYGC) that I mentioned in an earlier post. It is the very first, organized by the Geeta Ashram of Malaysia and it will start today(tonight, to be specific) and run til Sunday afternoon. There will be people from all over Asia attending this conference from countries like Singapore, Hong Kong, India etc. The theme is Answers to Life and is focused more on youths and how the Geeta can help with their uncertainties.
Here's a link for more information- http://www.hal-pc.org/~ganesh/klconf.html
Here's the best part- Payal and I were requested to do a little skit. So we did our little skit, still preparing. We just finished writing it out, and it's already Friday.
Here's a better part- Vaanavil might be covering this event which means that we might just be able to make a fool out of ourselves on national television. Oh my.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Here's the cherry on top of my cake- Mom walked in earlier and told me in the sweetest voice-
"Mil, I know you get very nervous in front of crowds, and there's going to be a huge crowd tonight, but don't worry, just do it like you did in September in the Ashram."
Hey mom, thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
I'm going to go giggle like a girl.
Oh My.
I need all the luck in the world people, bring it on. Say a prayer for me. Say a million.
Thanks.
I know, I know I should be more optimistic but it's the gigantic crowd.
All eyes on me.
I'll shrink. Tiny Mil will be Tinier Mil in no time!!
In I go to the washing machine. Har har.
p/s- PROM is tomorrow! Cannot wait. Wink. Slinkyyy
Here is an update on the International Youth Geeta Conference (IYGC) that I mentioned in an earlier post. It is the very first, organized by the Geeta Ashram of Malaysia and it will start today(tonight, to be specific) and run til Sunday afternoon. There will be people from all over Asia attending this conference from countries like Singapore, Hong Kong, India etc. The theme is Answers to Life and is focused more on youths and how the Geeta can help with their uncertainties.
Here's a link for more information- http://www.hal-pc.org/~ganesh/klconf.html
Here's the best part- Payal and I were requested to do a little skit. So we did our little skit, still preparing. We just finished writing it out, and it's already Friday.
Here's a better part- Vaanavil might be covering this event which means that we might just be able to make a fool out of ourselves on national television. Oh my.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Here's the cherry on top of my cake- Mom walked in earlier and told me in the sweetest voice-
"Mil, I know you get very nervous in front of crowds, and there's going to be a huge crowd tonight, but don't worry, just do it like you did in September in the Ashram."
Hey mom, thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
I'm going to go giggle like a girl.
Oh My.
I need all the luck in the world people, bring it on. Say a prayer for me. Say a million.
Thanks.
I know, I know I should be more optimistic but it's the gigantic crowd.
All eyes on me.
I'll shrink. Tiny Mil will be Tinier Mil in no time!!
In I go to the washing machine. Har har.
p/s- PROM is tomorrow! Cannot wait. Wink. Slinkyyy
Monday, December 04, 2006
Serene
Hello all!
Just wanted to say, I was exaggerating when I said I was traumatized, I was shocked yes, but I was just dramatizing myself. Hehe. Life goes on, eh?
It's been a rollercoaster for the past 5 days but I learnt alot and it was certainly an experience.
What did I do in these 5 days? Here's a cute little list. I love lists, don't you? But numbers do not turn me on, I repeat, do NOT. Do not give me math I will scream. Or run away. Both, probably.
1. Ate like a tanker or somebody who has never seen food in her life. Ate all kinds of junk too, my tummy must look like the pantry of Bullimic-Binge lady. Sorry sorry, bad joke. I am not judging you people, but food is NOT love! I will keep telling myself that.
2. Watched a few movies (refer to previous post for details)
3. Read and finished Misery by Stephen King and started on Sightings by Susan Trott. Misery was awesome.
4. Actually started my Lab Report for Human Motivation but the Lord only knows when I will complete it. I will. It'll kill me, but I will.
5. Went to the cinema (Gold Class, baby!) to watch Casino Royale and fell asleep almost immediately. Yes, only Mil could do that. You should have been there when I fell asleep in Madagascar at the Amcorp Cineplex. It was classic- and nobody saw because I put on my cap. Genius aren't I? I missed all the dance moves!
6. Played Speed with my brother- and won! Not much of a challenge, I told him this is the one game where you don't have to think, just put the damn cards down! Probably why I'm good at it. Har har.
7. Sang continuously in my car while driving places, because this is one of the places where I'm reminded most of someone special. I got the most wonderful glares (oh right, the windows were down).
8. Downloaded a whole bunch of sad songs, probably not the most wisest decision but they're all pretty songs and music always makes you feel good.
9. Went shopping for prom and got the most slinkiest dress I have ever laid eyes on. And I wonder if I'll have the guts to wear it or the confidence to pull it off. It is probably the least I will ever wear except to the beach. I promise pictures. Hint- it has no back. Seriously.
10. Spoke to Jacq and was wonderfully happy! Thanks Jacq for calling!
11. Went for about 4 mamak visits all by myself, just to get a coffee fix and ....ok ok the nicotine fix too.
12. Sorry to disappoint, but probably overdid it with the cigarettes, especially last week. Made up for it by hardly smoking during the weekend.
13. Attended both of my last classes- H.M. on Thursday and Interactive on Friday- proud to say I did not even leave early for Interactive, I stayed to the very end. Must say that Mr. W redeemed himself.
14. Started on the little skit that me and Payal have to do for the IYGC (International Youth Geetha Conference) on Friday, 8th December 2006. Will put up more details later.
15. After classes on Friday, I dropped a friend home in Pantai and got lost in a village; an actual village. I was disappointed because I did not see any cattle but saw satellite dishes instead.
16. After coming back to the village I like the most- Bangsar Village (har har- us city girls!) I went grocery shopping and bought three measly items- cereal, juice and Hungarian paprika which I found out that I had already bought. It's ok it gets better as I stepped into MPH and got seduced by all those self-help books. This was followed by a wonderfully greasy cheesy 'dog on a stick. I love those things.
17. I started to pray more, I'm not sure if this means anything.
18. I bonded with Dad, one of those rare moments where he was home the same time I was. Hee haw, like father, like daughter. If I had been a boy (and this is not denying the fact that I am half a man) I would look exactly like him because inside, we're so alike.
19. I actually played the piano, poor thing thought I forgot her. But I could never do that, precious. *Cackles to herself*.
So what would I like to do more now that I've had the time to sift out my 'real' interests?
1. Go grocery shopping again.
2. Read more. Period.
3. Play the piano more often than when the blue moon reappears.
4. If I want to read more, then I probably want to write more too.
5. Spend more time with family.
6. Watch more movies.
Bottomline: Stop falling asleep so early in the night because I notice I've been doing that alot more now. Love hormones? (PEA or epinephrine, Ming??) HAHA.
Ta!
Just wanted to say, I was exaggerating when I said I was traumatized, I was shocked yes, but I was just dramatizing myself. Hehe. Life goes on, eh?
It's been a rollercoaster for the past 5 days but I learnt alot and it was certainly an experience.
What did I do in these 5 days? Here's a cute little list. I love lists, don't you? But numbers do not turn me on, I repeat, do NOT. Do not give me math I will scream. Or run away. Both, probably.
1. Ate like a tanker or somebody who has never seen food in her life. Ate all kinds of junk too, my tummy must look like the pantry of Bullimic-Binge lady. Sorry sorry, bad joke. I am not judging you people, but food is NOT love! I will keep telling myself that.
2. Watched a few movies (refer to previous post for details)
3. Read and finished Misery by Stephen King and started on Sightings by Susan Trott. Misery was awesome.
4. Actually started my Lab Report for Human Motivation but the Lord only knows when I will complete it. I will. It'll kill me, but I will.
5. Went to the cinema (Gold Class, baby!) to watch Casino Royale and fell asleep almost immediately. Yes, only Mil could do that. You should have been there when I fell asleep in Madagascar at the Amcorp Cineplex. It was classic- and nobody saw because I put on my cap. Genius aren't I? I missed all the dance moves!
6. Played Speed with my brother- and won! Not much of a challenge, I told him this is the one game where you don't have to think, just put the damn cards down! Probably why I'm good at it. Har har.
7. Sang continuously in my car while driving places, because this is one of the places where I'm reminded most of someone special. I got the most wonderful glares (oh right, the windows were down).
8. Downloaded a whole bunch of sad songs, probably not the most wisest decision but they're all pretty songs and music always makes you feel good.
9. Went shopping for prom and got the most slinkiest dress I have ever laid eyes on. And I wonder if I'll have the guts to wear it or the confidence to pull it off. It is probably the least I will ever wear except to the beach. I promise pictures. Hint- it has no back. Seriously.
10. Spoke to Jacq and was wonderfully happy! Thanks Jacq for calling!
11. Went for about 4 mamak visits all by myself, just to get a coffee fix and ....ok ok the nicotine fix too.
12. Sorry to disappoint, but probably overdid it with the cigarettes, especially last week. Made up for it by hardly smoking during the weekend.
13. Attended both of my last classes- H.M. on Thursday and Interactive on Friday- proud to say I did not even leave early for Interactive, I stayed to the very end. Must say that Mr. W redeemed himself.
14. Started on the little skit that me and Payal have to do for the IYGC (International Youth Geetha Conference) on Friday, 8th December 2006. Will put up more details later.
15. After classes on Friday, I dropped a friend home in Pantai and got lost in a village; an actual village. I was disappointed because I did not see any cattle but saw satellite dishes instead.
16. After coming back to the village I like the most- Bangsar Village (har har- us city girls!) I went grocery shopping and bought three measly items- cereal, juice and Hungarian paprika which I found out that I had already bought. It's ok it gets better as I stepped into MPH and got seduced by all those self-help books. This was followed by a wonderfully greasy cheesy 'dog on a stick. I love those things.
17. I started to pray more, I'm not sure if this means anything.
18. I bonded with Dad, one of those rare moments where he was home the same time I was. Hee haw, like father, like daughter. If I had been a boy (and this is not denying the fact that I am half a man) I would look exactly like him because inside, we're so alike.
19. I actually played the piano, poor thing thought I forgot her. But I could never do that, precious. *Cackles to herself*.
So what would I like to do more now that I've had the time to sift out my 'real' interests?
1. Go grocery shopping again.
2. Read more. Period.
3. Play the piano more often than when the blue moon reappears.
4. If I want to read more, then I probably want to write more too.
5. Spend more time with family.
6. Watch more movies.
Bottomline: Stop falling asleep so early in the night because I notice I've been doing that alot more now. Love hormones? (PEA or epinephrine, Ming??) HAHA.
Ta!
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