Confessions of A Procrastinator cum Reality Escapist/Moron

Dear blog,

I have to speak now or forever hold my peace. Or I have to deal with that friggin' annoying nag. My own conscience. I honestly didn't know I had one. Ah, but writing this out will help i know. So tell me, do you know anybody stupid enough to read a book about procrastination, pick the same book to write a review on, and still manage to procrastinate on handing in the assignment?
Yea I know somebody like that. Think you know him (her?! HIM! HER!!) It must be all the sleeping I did two nights in a row. Just for the sake of defending myself, (by the way I hate to do this, when i mess up, I truly know that I do and I don't usually bother making excuses for it) I was sick two nights ago. BUT, yes , I could have started earlier.

I have an apology to make to myself. I let myself down. I am not going to sit here and moan about it, I'm going to finish the damn thing and I know i will. I'm going to park my butt here and not go anywhere (or surf the net, check friendster, look at pictures of my cicak or go to my inbox) until I am DONE.

But let me finish telling you about my sin ( I am NOT laughing right now and neither should you, dumbass). So I got off to a really good start, you know? I picked out the book, I read it, I was doing ok with other work, it was just when I saw the deadline come closer, I felt myself get all phobic again. It's like I'm afraid of even coming here to start typing the damn thing. It's horrible I know. Everytime a deadline looms large in front of my eyes I sleep more, I eat more, I spend more time outside than necessary and I end up knowing exactly what is on tv (I barely watch tv, so what the hell is up with that?).

I can't ask anybody to smack sense into me but myself. Why? I know plenty of people who would be willing to do that for me (I know plenty of people just waiting to smack me, period) but I feel like I need to do this for myself. If I have to be punished, so be it. If someone were to nag me, or to become my cheerleader, I'd probably do it because I'd feel bad for letting that person down. So it wouldn't be for myself and what am I going to do when that person isn't around the next time?

Phew, well I feel better already and ARGH I'm almost there. GRRRRAAAAWWWR.
Maybe I should actually scream for real. That would help, no?
Time Crisis, here I come.

On a sidenote, to the people who are reading this (and to you dear, yes you I know you're reading this) you are in no way responsible for me being a pushover. It is me, all me. I am the culprit. I am also, unfortunately, the victim. But nobody is to blame except for Mil.

And there will be no more of this. I promise you and I promise me.
You are more than welcome to smack me around a bit, thanks.

Oblivionism

Hello to you and to you. And to you *points to far end of room*. Didn't see you there what with the smoke blocking your face and all. You chimney you.

As noted by someone who comes by here pretty often, my blog has been quite a hotspot- in a bad way I guess. So much drama! Hrmm. Well, I was overwhelmed with your concern, thank you. Whether I was wrong or right, I guess I'll never know, but thanks for backing me up no matter what.

Days go by faster and faster, soon it will be the end of November, which will bring us to December. Only a year left til' I have to go. Damn.

It's been a crazy week sometimes I wish I could just block it all out. But reality is reality, there's no escaping it. I've learnt that the hard way. Although I have been pretty good at hiding from Reality's nosey touch, I can't run very far away. Can I, you son of a gun.

I don't want to grow up. Let's freeze.

Randomness

1. Are you currently mad at someone?
I get that way at times but it's all good.

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Err...that might just be me. But my brother is catching up

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyones face?
*Shameful* Yes. But I don't remember who it was and what the unfortunate item was that had to collide with the face. Nyah.


4. Does your face turn red when you blush?
Oh goodness, yes it's like I'm on fire. In all the bad ways.

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
Ooo, to stare angrily. It gives me much satisfaction to see my minions squirm uncomfortably. On second thought it feels great to yell too. I am such an angry man.

1. Has anyone ever thrown a surpriseparty for you?
Oh yea, and they were both lovely. Both sponsored by my parents. People love me!

2. Are you easily excited?
Excited's not the word, I'd say easy to please.

3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
Friday because only you could get me to hop up and down and squeal like a pig in mud.

4. Which of your friends is most excitable?
Without a doubt, Ming.

5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
Holy Shit. Second thought: I'm Robin Hood and I want to buy you lunch.

6. If you could have anything right now,what would it be?
A smile on my darling's face.

SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name? Silly-billy-milly

2. Where were you born?
In a land called Malaysia, in a state called Selangor and in an area called Kelana Jaya.

3. What's your main goal in life?
To give out some goodness to the world for it has been good to me.

4. Do you want to have children?-
Absofrigginlutely.

5. How do you want to die?
Surrounded by the ones I love.

OPINIONS.
1. Sex before marriage?
Without the right person can be fatal.

2. Lower the drinking age?
Oh nono, can you imagine 16 year olds running wild and drunk?

3. War?
Is so unnecessary and so fascist.

4. Recycling?
Is something we never do.

LOVE
1. Do you have a crush?
A big one.

2. Who is the best hugger that you know?
Me actually I tend to squeeze the life out of you.


Q&A
Q: How many beds were you in yesterday?
I remember just one.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
Dark blue.

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
Drive.

Q: I can't wait till...?
Friday. Wee.

Q: Who got you to join Friendster?
One of my high school friends, because Fster was so totally cool ei?

Q: Is Jack on your friends list?
No, but I have a Sebastian. Hehe.

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
My pretty purple curtains.

Q: What's the last thing you borrowedfromsomeone?
Nimmy's hair thing that looks like a weapon.

Q: What website(s) do you visit themost?
TV Links.

Q: Most recent time you were really upset?
Last Saturday because it happens.

_______Last________
1.Person you saw last in your family:
Mommy, Pops and bro.

2. Hugged:
Ashy.

3. Movie watched:
Fantastic 4. Eh, first one was better, movie-wise and Alba-wise.

4. Song you listened to:
Jhalak Dikhlaja-Himesh Reshamiya.

_______Today________
1. What are you doing now?
Boring you and refusing to look at my Human Comm book.

2. What are you doing tonight:
Pretending to look at my Human Comm book. Okok i study. Hee.

3. What are you going to eat fordinner?
Me had fish.

4. What are you doing tomorrow?
Meeting Ming at Hanky-Panky. =D And waiting for Friday.

Thread

I am made up of thread, seemingly flimsy, but on closer look,
it is strong.
Strong thread spun from experience, big and bigger mistakes, but most importantly,
love.
Over the years I tried to stick shells to the thread, but somebody took out these shells.
Resilient now but with no shells.
You took down that hard surface and now I have no armour.
But I have my thread.
Sometimes there are things that try to attack my thread, but I allow it to bounce.
Bounce, bounce.
Bounces once, twice, three times.
No matter what, my thread stays the same, only growing stronger each day.
Sometimes there are things that try to break it.
But how do break something thats only in my head?
You can't cut it, it will only sew itself back together.
You can't smash it, it is too tiny for your violence.
You can't wrestle it off me, because what is mine you shouldn't take.
So no matter what, you can't destroy what is already meant to be there.
I ask for you to respect my thread and yours will grow to be like mine too.