I spent the whole day rifling through my old posts and clearing up junk. I feel zen now, if that is an adjective. It should be, if it isn't. Last year, I went through some huge changes - with my life, my outlook on it and my habits. I learnt the value of hard work and of finishing things. 2010 was my last year as a university student at Murdoch. I am now a graduate, and I wouldn't be had I not gone through said changes. I'm not sure exactly, what brought it on. Maybe it was Gran, glaring down at me from wherever she was (I can imagine her gallivanting in PD or Chennai...trust her). I wonder if change always has to come from pain, but it does make sense.
In December 2009, Mima (beloved grandmother to me) passed away, peacefully, while sound asleep. I guess she didn't like the nurses we hired for her. It was painful for us, but it was nice to see her float away from her human shackles. There was a collective gasp, then a sigh of relief in our house. She had suffered enough.
In January 2010, I developed a weird case of shopaholicism. I went to One Utama weekly, hungrily going into shops and buying pretty new things. I wonder now if it was my own way of dealing with sadness. I also wonder if Gran possessed me for awhile, pissed off that Dad gave me a credit card and neglected to give her one.
In February 2010, I went back to Perth, plumper, darker and shiny with my new trinkets. I made new friends and took Children's Theatre. It was the beginning of the end. I organized a graduation party and was diagnosed with a Urinary Tract Infection.
In March 2010, I attended Vivek's graduation and got his Mom to hate me. 9 months later, I found out that she was just starting to like me. Oh, the irony. I auditioned for the part of the pirate in CT and got the role of the singing, dancing duck. I'll never live it down.
In April 2010, I went to IKEA and bought a wok for AUD$9.95. It grew a thin layer of rust after 5 months. I stopped asking the other half to come with me to movies. We began to lead separate lives, meeting back at the dinner table.
In May 2010, I performed my role as a dancing duck (they cut out the singing, damn you, short attention span!)in front of giggling children. I passed up all my assignments and fell back onto my chair, giddy with relief and exhilaration. I wanted to do it all over again. I booked my ticket for Melbourne and cried when I handed over my debit card to the flight agent. She was nice about it and gave me her name card to shut me up.
In June 2010, I signed on for a winter unit which specialized on comedy in plays. I studied Wilde, Fo and Stoppard. I watched countless movies and ironed clothes. I moved into my own room, without a room mate. I watched her move out and went to put up my posters on the ugly white walls. We went to see Me and Orson Welles two months later. I quit my job at the Asian cafe and got hired at an upscale Malaysian restaurant. I was on my way to selling out.
In July 2010, I flew to Melbourne and promptly fell in love with it. I spent a night at Syar's place and made butter chicken in her kitchen. Then I spent the rest of the nights in a blurry haze of alcohol and raucousness. I looked up at the city lights and saw the possibilities. I came back to Perth and immediately wanted to fly back. I made friends with good people in Melbourne and none will be forgotten. I slaved over my Winter Unit and came out with an appreciation for comedians. I picked up more shifts at work and made up for all the money I spent in Melbourne.
In August 2010, I found out that I had to take five units if I wanted to graduate by this year. I took a deep breath and enrolled for three heavy units and two light ones; one a first year unit in Photography, the other a course on the transition from the university to the workplace. Everyone whom I told this too asked me how I would manage to sleep at night. I replied, "Soundly." My Italian boss and his wife from Malaysia sold their business to an Australian man. They told him not to change anything. He didn't listen. Two of my flatmates got involved in a car accident. They're better than ever now.
In September 2010, I bought my ticket for the annual Village Ball and blew AUD$200 getting ready for it. I'm not sure if it was worth it, but the jewellery from Diva was pretty. I reasoned that I could use the dress for clubbing. I grew to appreciate photography; urban landscape in particular. I always liked them big buildings. I attended Shashank's graduation and went to eat pork ribs in Tony Roma's after the ceremony. We ended up in an English pub later, one of the last places left in Perth where you could smoke in the alfresco area. They were overruling this a week from that day. My new boss caught on to the fact that I didn't have a Responsible Service for Alcohol certificate (RSA) and told me that I had to get one or I wouldn't get a shift. I paid $90 for a woman to tell me that alcohol in Western Australia needs to be monitored. I read Eat, Pray, Love and enjoyed it.
In October 2010, I attended the Village Ball and couldn't stomach the cheap wine. I came home sober and with my hair undone. I booked my ticket for Malaysia and told my parents I was coming home two days later than the actual date. I interviewed an inspiring man who started up his own copywriting business after he got disillusioned with mainstream media. I started to take a real interest in politics, the environment, the nature of business news and journalism. I watched the Eat, Pray, Love movie and was disappointed. I got lost in McEwan, Lahiri and Kundera. I got disgusted at the world after researching for my politics essay.
In November 2010, I went to hell and came back. I passed up eight assignments in two weeks. I saw the licking flames and roasted in a slow circle. The feeling I got from finishing it all was incredible. I got crazily drunk and said bye to Perth. I didn't know that I wasn't coming back. Dad got diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma seven days after I passed up my last undergraduate assignment. I got called for an interview at Wisma UOA for the position of an 'information analyst'. I didn't take the job.
In December 2010, Vivek and I decided that we couldn't continue our relationship as I would be staying back in KL as opposed to flying back to Perth in January, as originally planned. We broke it off two days before his 23rd birthday. He left for Bali and I stayed over at Payal's house. We played Taboo. I got my results back on the 10th of December - I had graduated. Payal and I went out for drinks the next night and neither of us remembers much. It was a good night. I went for an interview with Smart Investor and met the editor for half an hour at the Aman Suria office. While shopping at Jaya 33, I was reminded of grocery shopping in Perth as a couple. Somewhere around the third week, Mom and the brother fell sick, and I followed suit. I celebrated the New Year's with Payal and Nim. We were rudely shoved and groped in the crowd, but it was a good night.
2010 taught me plenty and showed me how to have a good time. I came to realize that all you really need to survive this thing called Life is yourself and your precious friends. If you stop looking for happiness in people and things, and start making life happen, the happiness will come by itself. It is something that needs to be worked at continuously, much like having a relationship. I advocate having a relationship with yourself and not jumping the gun, like many of us have done in the past. I forgot how nice it is to sit at home all day in pajamas and read my way through a whole book. I forgot how cool it is to see movies back to back (again, in my pajamas). Clean your room weekly and open the windows. Smell the rain and don’t ever think that you are alone.
With pain, comes gain. This I promise you.
