Time: 5a.m.
Venue: , 24/7 Learning Common,Murdoch University Library, Perth
Song playing in my head: Come Back To What You Know by Embrace
I recall a time like this, almost exactly two years ago when I was awake at this ungodly hour for the same purpose. I had just watched a football match and decided to write about my experience on this very blog. It's amazing how many things have changed since then, and how some things will never ever change, despite the ever-moving hands on the clock. I am still Milan L. Sadhwani. I have not aged one bit so don't believe everything a birthday cake tells you (especially the lucky candle- they put that in to make you feel older, not luckier). I still sing in the shower, in my room and in my car. I still adore food and going out to eat in a nice restaurant. I still enjoy the small things around me. I still am a little girl and get scared easily even though I put up a "macho" front. I still have the same friends (I sure hope so) and I remain grateful for their being in my life. I still can only appreciate home; home to me is family, three square meals and a cosy room to retreat to.
Home is what I crave now. This place is not and never will be home. Perhaps I had assumptions about getting used to this country. Perhaps I thought, in a few months, I would be alright. The thing is, I am alright, I just want my home. You could say that I have a family here, and I certainly attempt to have three square meals in a regular day. But I don't have that coveted room. I don't have the safety net I once did. I don't want to have to look right and left everytime I leave my house. I don't want to brood over what might or might not happen. I just want a home.
I did not mean to bum out anybody, do take note. I might not have a home but I have somebody I can call home and that makes up for the paranoia and wariness that haunts my days in Australia.
Damn, don't I sound melodramatic. I guess all I really need is not look at everything as responsibilities, but as a challenge (as corny as that sounds, but hey I can be pretty corny when I want to). And also it would be nice to wake up one day and discover that my fairy godmother has cooked, cleaned and done my laundry. Oh yea, and my assignments too, if it's not too much trouble. But this is also life, no? What the hell am I whining about, did you hear yesterday's top news? This man from Vienna trapped his daughter in a small room for 24 years and had 7 of her children. Boy, aren't we lucky that we ain't European?
Ok, sending out happy thoughts to all. I promise, I do have some left, despite the above post.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Ahoy!
Yo, why with the greeting, I don't know but I now am suddenly craving cookies (Chips Ahoy!).
Been almost a month, ei? My my, I do miss writing (for non-academic purposes).
So, here a few things that's been on my mind.
1. You. 'Cos, I miss everybody back home.
2. Being a student away from home is a challenging and interesting experience all at once. I've learnt so much in these two months, possibly more than what I learnt in a whole year being at home and with my parents. So much thought has to go into everything, and I mean; literally everything: cooking, cleaning and even grocery-shopping. Back home, I barely used to think as I put item after item in a shopping cart. Admittedly, I didn't think about what I was purchasing because I usually wasn't the one paying for it. Here, however, EVERY cent counts. I've learnt to be extremely frugal and thrifty, two things I thought I could never be (not when it comes to food or books that is). I enjoy good food, most of which is totally out of my budget, but the time will come for the occasional splurge. Being frugal has also taught me the value of delayed gratification; it can be rewarding to hold back. My dad and I have the same theory on spending for food: it is well worth it, unlike blowing the cash on clothes or other things (but this does not mean my dad understands my theory of splurging on books; you should see his reaction when he used to get bills from Borders or MPH, yikes!). Spending money on food is worth it simply because the experience is fantastic; even though you can't technically keep what you bought (because it's already in your digestive system), you can savour the delicious memories that come from eating amazing Korean barbecue or splendid Thai cuisine, not to mention sweet memories of being with people you love and sharing great food and drinks with them. I have so many of these memories with my parents and Babes and I cherish them with all my heart and be grateful to Dad for trusting me with his credit card (I wonder now if he regrets doing this, aha!).
3.Living without my parents also means something else; no curfew. All this while I imagined myself jumping for joy at this simple fact, but it's an altogether different story after awhile. At the beginning, I must admit I was giddy with happiness, but then I realized, I had to be responsible enough. No one is here telling me what to do, true, but I had to make wise decisions for myself. For example: staying up late. If I did this, I wouldn't be able to wake up for class the next day, and let's face it, missing classes here is a big deal considering how much Dad is paying for tuition fees. And let's not forget, I am horrible at being on time or waking up on time. Basically, freedom is great but it comes with consequences. (If my Mom ever read this, I'm sure she'd wonder if I was being possessed by strange aliens from another plaet). Plus, with so many chores to do at home, there's no time to waste (ok, now I do sound like I've been possessed by wierd aliens).
4.I am now even more into football than I ever was, thanks to Mr. Fanatic, but it's a nice thing, don't worry :D Speaking of which, the big game is coming up on Sunday- Manchester United vs. Arsenal and I'm super-psyched. Wee!
5.I am doing well and am happy here, but I do feel lost without my books (trivial as this is). I miss my favourite books and at times feel like a part of me is incomplete because I don't have them here. I suppose that's a strong way to put it, but yes, I do feel that way. I anticipated this happening, but I didn't expect to such a degree or extent. I surprised myself as well, when I realized this. However, I am learning also, that I can't have everything, so it's okay. Plus, the bookstores here are pretty fantastic and they store my favourite books, so in moments of longing I can always go and sit in there to re-read my favourite chapters. Also, even better news is that alot of people are making trips to Perth so I will soon be reunited with my own copies. Ahhhh, sweet relief. (The libraries in Perth are not bad either!)
6. To end on a happy note, I am learning to cook on my own with fantastic help from everybody and especially Babes who is wonderful in the kitchen and extremely supportive in being my guinea pig. Speaking of everybody else, I am really lucky; I already have a new set of friends which I didn't have to hunt around for; most of them live with me. Thank you everybody.
Keep in touch people =)
Signing off,
Dwarfy Terrorist (it's a long story but the name has stuck)
Been almost a month, ei? My my, I do miss writing (for non-academic purposes).
So, here a few things that's been on my mind.
1. You. 'Cos, I miss everybody back home.
2. Being a student away from home is a challenging and interesting experience all at once. I've learnt so much in these two months, possibly more than what I learnt in a whole year being at home and with my parents. So much thought has to go into everything, and I mean; literally everything: cooking, cleaning and even grocery-shopping. Back home, I barely used to think as I put item after item in a shopping cart. Admittedly, I didn't think about what I was purchasing because I usually wasn't the one paying for it. Here, however, EVERY cent counts. I've learnt to be extremely frugal and thrifty, two things I thought I could never be (not when it comes to food or books that is). I enjoy good food, most of which is totally out of my budget, but the time will come for the occasional splurge. Being frugal has also taught me the value of delayed gratification; it can be rewarding to hold back. My dad and I have the same theory on spending for food: it is well worth it, unlike blowing the cash on clothes or other things (but this does not mean my dad understands my theory of splurging on books; you should see his reaction when he used to get bills from Borders or MPH, yikes!). Spending money on food is worth it simply because the experience is fantastic; even though you can't technically keep what you bought (because it's already in your digestive system), you can savour the delicious memories that come from eating amazing Korean barbecue or splendid Thai cuisine, not to mention sweet memories of being with people you love and sharing great food and drinks with them. I have so many of these memories with my parents and Babes and I cherish them with all my heart and be grateful to Dad for trusting me with his credit card (I wonder now if he regrets doing this, aha!).
3.Living without my parents also means something else; no curfew. All this while I imagined myself jumping for joy at this simple fact, but it's an altogether different story after awhile. At the beginning, I must admit I was giddy with happiness, but then I realized, I had to be responsible enough. No one is here telling me what to do, true, but I had to make wise decisions for myself. For example: staying up late. If I did this, I wouldn't be able to wake up for class the next day, and let's face it, missing classes here is a big deal considering how much Dad is paying for tuition fees. And let's not forget, I am horrible at being on time or waking up on time. Basically, freedom is great but it comes with consequences. (If my Mom ever read this, I'm sure she'd wonder if I was being possessed by strange aliens from another plaet). Plus, with so many chores to do at home, there's no time to waste (ok, now I do sound like I've been possessed by wierd aliens).
4.I am now even more into football than I ever was, thanks to Mr. Fanatic, but it's a nice thing, don't worry :D Speaking of which, the big game is coming up on Sunday- Manchester United vs. Arsenal and I'm super-psyched. Wee!
5.I am doing well and am happy here, but I do feel lost without my books (trivial as this is). I miss my favourite books and at times feel like a part of me is incomplete because I don't have them here. I suppose that's a strong way to put it, but yes, I do feel that way. I anticipated this happening, but I didn't expect to such a degree or extent. I surprised myself as well, when I realized this. However, I am learning also, that I can't have everything, so it's okay. Plus, the bookstores here are pretty fantastic and they store my favourite books, so in moments of longing I can always go and sit in there to re-read my favourite chapters. Also, even better news is that alot of people are making trips to Perth so I will soon be reunited with my own copies. Ahhhh, sweet relief. (The libraries in Perth are not bad either!)
6. To end on a happy note, I am learning to cook on my own with fantastic help from everybody and especially Babes who is wonderful in the kitchen and extremely supportive in being my guinea pig. Speaking of everybody else, I am really lucky; I already have a new set of friends which I didn't have to hunt around for; most of them live with me. Thank you everybody.
Keep in touch people =)
Signing off,
Dwarfy Terrorist (it's a long story but the name has stuck)
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