Straight from the Unqualified Lady

It's a Friday night and the Sadhwani family has just finished dinner. Ms. Sadhwani finishes the last of her rice and is already plotting her escape to the sweet refuge of her room. She smiles as she thinks of a couple of hours in cyberspace with her babes. Mrs. Sadhwani reads her mind and looks at her with her own wicked smile. She then innocently says the following sentence,

"Milan, I'm baking a cake tomorrow so you have to help me prepare the ingredients."

Ms. Sadhwani bursts out laughing, figuring, that had to be a joke. How do you prepare to make a cake? Is there some kind of special exercise involved? Do you have to chant a few mantras before you bake a cake? (To the higher powers, may this cake come out edible and almost as delicious as the ones in Chili's.) Ms. Sadhwani envisioned a troop of middle-aged wives chanting this particular mantra in unison while wearing pink aprons and waving about spatulas and starts laughing again. This earns her a glare from Mrs. Sadhwani and she hurriedly shuts up and says,

"Prepare the ingredients? What are you going to get me to do?"

Mrs. Sadhwani smiles again (in a very evil manner) and tells her hallucinating daughter to just be in the kitchen in 15minutes. Ms. Sadhwani nods her head and nervously waits the verdict.

15 minutes go by.

Ms. Sadhwani reluctantly drags her feet to the kitchen. She is greeted by several big bowls and a giant book that reads "Food for your Soul". Her heart thuds in her chest and she is already imagining the worse. What will it be this time? Mrs. Sadhwani is standing by the counter and she hears Ms. Sadhwani come in. She turns around to look at her and turns back to peruse the book. Ms. Sadhwani studies her mother and concludes that she looks distracted. She feels hope rising; maybe, just maybe, Mrs. Sadhwani has forgotten that she had asked her to help with the preparation. Ms. Sadhwani turns to escape but is stopped by her mother's voice,

"Ok, now that you're here, you can help me by chopping these walnuts."

Ms. Sadhwani closes her eyes and counts to 10. Walnut chopping can't be as bad as tauge-cleaning.

Another 15 minutes pass by.

It is not as bad. It's worse.

Lesson learnt- Never give Ms. Sadhwani a knife when she is pissed about the complexities of preparing ingredients. She will wave it in your face and scare the crap out of you.

p/s- This part is fictionalized, I did not, in fact, wave any knife in anyone's face.
Really.

You Should Know

Ola, it's been awhile (yet again).

Some things you should know.

1. If you don't know who Leo Buscaglia is, find out and read just a few pages of his books. You'll be astounded.

2. If you want to be demoralized and get your self-esteem to take a skydive, come sit in the car with my grandma, she's got a PhD in this.

3. I am prepared to face the consequences of failing all my subjects this semester, don't worry, it's all good.

4. Holidays have started and they are too long for my liking.

5. It's already April but I can still remember what January felt like.

6. I am thinking of ways to make time fly faster. I am open to suggestions.

7. If the MPO is appealing to you, please let me know.

8. I wrote a really private poem-sort-of-thing yesterday, and I am contemplating on whether I should post it up here or just leave it in my drawer.

9. I am reading very interesting poems by a someone called C.K. Williams.

10. My favourite lecturer at Help University College is leaving and I am in denial about it. Damn those defense mechanisms.

11. I want to write more but everything I say comes out stale.