It was democratic for sure, which is why it lasted for about three hours. An Annual General Meeting with women - you bet it's not going to be over anytime soon. Every voice was given a chance to speak - those who had views threw it out to the rest of the table - without fear that there would be repercussions to speaking their minds. Something we surely lack in this country - encouraging people to speak. God forbid we give them a chance to be educated. Education really is key.
As the meeting began, I was excited; pumped at the possibilities that could arise, at the things I would hear, at the notes that I would take (surreptitiously at the back of course). We started out with minutes from the last meeting, then proceeded to finances. Yea, not my favourite thing in the world. My mind started to wander. I had to force myself to concentrate. Transportation fees? Honorarium hire? Fund-raising? (Hey, we can throw parties in the name of feminism right?).
That's when I realized though - it is the nitty-gritty details, the rentals and the materials to make posters, to print manuals and books...that make up the big picture. The mindless administrative work, the filing of documents, the recording. When the cause is right though, these things become secondary. I started to pay attention and learnt a few things - finance...easy-peasy right? And if all else fails, I can learn from the Google Gods.
Whatever it takes - learning to raise money, learning to balance a checkbook (or at least knowing who to hire), I think you can do anything when you heart is burning with all-consuming passion.
Yes I really am that naive, I reckon if you took a peek in my head, you'd hear a conversation that goes like this:
Mil (the Realist): So Mil, when you build a community centre, like you always wanted, where kids can play, learn to dance, play chess and all those fun kid-stuff things, how are you going to raise money for it?
Mil (me): Umm...I guess I'll ask the pretty rainbow fairies to slid down their colourful highways and loan me some money for my pretty community centre. And then I'll get my goblin homies to paint it up all purple.
Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Resisting the Urge
So it's the third day of my new life as a non-smoker and I have to say despite the crazy urges and almost giving up, I've made it this far. Never in the past six years have I gone this long without a cigarette and perhaps there was a time when I thought I could never do it.
I am drinking coffee right now and this is possibly the hardest challenge thus far. Coffee is like my morning booze and you know what goes very well with booze, yes those pretty little cancer sticks. Here are some things that have really helped me in the past three days:
1. Meditating/ taking deep breaths.
2. Distracting myself with almost anything, be it a phone call, talking to a friend, singing out loud (especially in the car which used to be my favourite place to smoke) and cursing cigs.
2. Eating 'asam' tablets, or better known as plum. This has helped immensely with the cravings; something about those tiny Pikin sourish circles that give me some sort of oral satisfaction.
3. Physical exercise, like badminton and swimming.
4. Listening to heavy metal and air drumming along (and cursing cigs as well).
5. Listening to calming music (when the cursing is over).
6. Thinking about how proud everyone will be of me.
7. Thinking of all the people who were skeptical (here's a middle finger to you, no seriously, stop dripping your negativity all over my clean sheets of positive energy, ASSHOLE).
8. Drinking or munching on something. I find even drinking something like soy bean helps me forget I want to smoke.
9. Creating new things to do to fill the time I used to spend smoking.
10. Pretending I have a stick between my fingers, putting the imaginary thing in my mouth and taking a long and satisfying puff (as stupid as I look, this really works).
I'll write more about my experience in the coming days. I feel like cigarettes have been my long-time lover and I am trying to get over this pack of stamina-robbing twigs. I think about them almost the whole day and I am longing for a day when I can finally say "I'm over you." And so help me God, I will.
I am drinking coffee right now and this is possibly the hardest challenge thus far. Coffee is like my morning booze and you know what goes very well with booze, yes those pretty little cancer sticks. Here are some things that have really helped me in the past three days:
1. Meditating/ taking deep breaths.
2. Distracting myself with almost anything, be it a phone call, talking to a friend, singing out loud (especially in the car which used to be my favourite place to smoke) and cursing cigs.
2. Eating 'asam' tablets, or better known as plum. This has helped immensely with the cravings; something about those tiny Pikin sourish circles that give me some sort of oral satisfaction.
3. Physical exercise, like badminton and swimming.
4. Listening to heavy metal and air drumming along (and cursing cigs as well).
5. Listening to calming music (when the cursing is over).
6. Thinking about how proud everyone will be of me.
7. Thinking of all the people who were skeptical (here's a middle finger to you, no seriously, stop dripping your negativity all over my clean sheets of positive energy, ASSHOLE).
8. Drinking or munching on something. I find even drinking something like soy bean helps me forget I want to smoke.
9. Creating new things to do to fill the time I used to spend smoking.
10. Pretending I have a stick between my fingers, putting the imaginary thing in my mouth and taking a long and satisfying puff (as stupid as I look, this really works).
I'll write more about my experience in the coming days. I feel like cigarettes have been my long-time lover and I am trying to get over this pack of stamina-robbing twigs. I think about them almost the whole day and I am longing for a day when I can finally say "I'm over you." And so help me God, I will.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
My New Life As a Non-Smoker
So I finally took the plunge and decided to quit cigarettes. My reasons for this involved many things, of which include mortality, my Dad's mortality, the people I love, my poor lungs and hey, why not nurture my singing voice?
Today was the first day and it was a good challenge. More often than not, I felt like a fighter, putting my nose down at cigarettes and proud to be able to say NO! Other times got me thinking wistfully of these sticks, distant from a lost friend. I wrote a goodbye letter last night, and in it I put out the fact that cigarettes were like a friend to me, especially in my darkest hours. There was some sort of emotional attachment to a overrated box of cancer twigs. But I persevered, much to the surprise of many friends perhaps. My persona for the past six years had somehow gelded with cigarettes; many people associate me with Salems; one almost always in my hand, especially after meals or between work. Cigarettes were part of my routine, how I decided where to eat and and a constant companion especially on long car drives. In fact, my car had never known me as a non-smoker, having witnessed the many puffs I would take as I coast down a Malaysian highway, or crawl through a Malaysian jam. For 6 years, I held hands with cigarettes and now it is all over.
The bigger part of me is extremely happy, and has already planned many things to replace the habit (think lollipops). A small teeny tiny part of me is sad, because it feels like an era gone by. But even an era will eventually fade. And I have to remember that the good has to outweigh the bad and perhaps my trusted ciggies are more bad than good. Most definitely, I should say.
It's 2012 and the time has come to make some overhauls. The only thing I'm bringing with me from 2011 is the phrase "Why not?" Let's rock this joint.
Today was the first day and it was a good challenge. More often than not, I felt like a fighter, putting my nose down at cigarettes and proud to be able to say NO! Other times got me thinking wistfully of these sticks, distant from a lost friend. I wrote a goodbye letter last night, and in it I put out the fact that cigarettes were like a friend to me, especially in my darkest hours. There was some sort of emotional attachment to a overrated box of cancer twigs. But I persevered, much to the surprise of many friends perhaps. My persona for the past six years had somehow gelded with cigarettes; many people associate me with Salems; one almost always in my hand, especially after meals or between work. Cigarettes were part of my routine, how I decided where to eat and and a constant companion especially on long car drives. In fact, my car had never known me as a non-smoker, having witnessed the many puffs I would take as I coast down a Malaysian highway, or crawl through a Malaysian jam. For 6 years, I held hands with cigarettes and now it is all over.
The bigger part of me is extremely happy, and has already planned many things to replace the habit (think lollipops). A small teeny tiny part of me is sad, because it feels like an era gone by. But even an era will eventually fade. And I have to remember that the good has to outweigh the bad and perhaps my trusted ciggies are more bad than good. Most definitely, I should say.
It's 2012 and the time has come to make some overhauls. The only thing I'm bringing with me from 2011 is the phrase "Why not?" Let's rock this joint.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Propaganda
People will say almost anything to get you to do what they want, and I think this can be applied to the arena of jobs. An employer who is keen on hiring you, might be able to gauge what you want to hear and then feed you the appropriate lines. I think I can be easily convinced and this is not a good trait to possess. Now that I know though, I would like to take steps to think for myself and weigh options carefully before making a decision.
Are you easily influenced? There's nothing wrong with admitting it and I think to a certain degree, most human beings are, even if they deny it. Think about the influence advertisements, music videos and sitcoms can have on our minds and the way we think. Don't be fooled into thinking that this hasn't affected you. In some unconscious way, I'm sure it has.
It takes effort to think for ourselves which is why many people don't practice this. It takes effort to look within, instead of riding on the waves of external stimuli that bombard us everyday. It takes effort to sit in solitude and experience silence for awhile, away from the bustle of ordinary life. It takes effort to not let what people say affect your single-minded goals but I reckon it will be worthwhile not to give up.
Screw the discrimination, deceit and propaganda. Turn your mind inwards and keep your eyes firmly fixed on your goals and uphold YOUR beliefs and values, not your boss or your mother's.
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