I can wait, I don't have a problem with waiting. Ask me to sit at a bus-stop with nothing but my shoelaces to play with and I won't hate you. I might be slightly worried about you, but that's about it.
But I don't see the point. If I'm not needed, I'll leave, really. I don't want to intrude in your life, because, really, who am I to do that?
Yea, I'll be crushed, but so what. I'll deal. Maybe I won't, but I'll find a way. Don't you worry about me so much. Hey, you know what? Whatever makes you happy, whatever rocks your boat, whatever gets you up. If I can't give you your ya-ya's then, please don't ask me to stay.
Forgive me if I sound bitter, I'm not being bitter, I just want you to know.
Love is not for the weak-hearted but I can hardly call myself strong.
I don't mean any harm by saying all this, but I must say it, must speak now or forever hold my peace. Besides, I've never been able to hide from you. Run, perhaps. But I always come back. I hope you will too.
Where did you go? I miss you so. It seems like forever, since you've been gone.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Small thing
Hello all. The little man ain't sleepin' yet and it's 3.58am. Before I get any yelling, let me just say that I had more than enough sleep today, so I think it's justifiable that I'm still cheerfully awake. Well, I don't know how cheerful, seeing as I'm alone in my room and I can't test out my cheerfulness, but you get it.
About the whole Valentines Day being overrated thing, enough is enough. Yes, everybody knows that items are ridiculously overpriced and fancy restaurants become a no-no for those with hole in their pockets, but so what?
So you wanna pamper the one you love, so what? Let them do it, for Pete's sake. I don't condone buying things to show your love, but it doesn't kill you either. Yes, it's the thought that counts, of course it is, but admit it already. A tiny part of you rejoices at the mere thought of going somewhere expensive for dinner. A small part of your being yearns to get beautiful flowers from your special someone. And why the hell not? It's nice. I'm not going to pretend that I don't like it.
Yes, of course these things shouldn't only occur on Valentines Day, I get that too, but if it does, so be it.
It's easier said than done to wave away the luxuries, it's another thing to not stare wistfully at it. Let me tell you something. I spent a good portion of my life without it. And I'm absolutely fine. But when I was able to experience it, I liked it. I liked being pampered. I liked being spoilt silly .
Call it whatever you like: materialistic, gold-digger etc. I'm not saying that I expect it all the time, or if it doesn't happen, I'll be absolutely crushed. I'm just saying I find it really nice. So spending a ludicrous amount of money on Valentines Day (or any regular day) ain't no sin to me.
Having said that, these are the small, teeny things in life that make almost no difference. If I had a lover who took me out to a fancy dinner but couldn't even be there for me when I needed him, then I'd be crushed. Those are the big things in life. Okay, people?
Go indulge and list all the lovely small things you like.
Wee.
About the whole Valentines Day being overrated thing, enough is enough. Yes, everybody knows that items are ridiculously overpriced and fancy restaurants become a no-no for those with hole in their pockets, but so what?
So you wanna pamper the one you love, so what? Let them do it, for Pete's sake. I don't condone buying things to show your love, but it doesn't kill you either. Yes, it's the thought that counts, of course it is, but admit it already. A tiny part of you rejoices at the mere thought of going somewhere expensive for dinner. A small part of your being yearns to get beautiful flowers from your special someone. And why the hell not? It's nice. I'm not going to pretend that I don't like it.
Yes, of course these things shouldn't only occur on Valentines Day, I get that too, but if it does, so be it.
It's easier said than done to wave away the luxuries, it's another thing to not stare wistfully at it. Let me tell you something. I spent a good portion of my life without it. And I'm absolutely fine. But when I was able to experience it, I liked it. I liked being pampered. I liked being spoilt silly .
Call it whatever you like: materialistic, gold-digger etc. I'm not saying that I expect it all the time, or if it doesn't happen, I'll be absolutely crushed. I'm just saying I find it really nice. So spending a ludicrous amount of money on Valentines Day (or any regular day) ain't no sin to me.
Having said that, these are the small, teeny things in life that make almost no difference. If I had a lover who took me out to a fancy dinner but couldn't even be there for me when I needed him, then I'd be crushed. Those are the big things in life. Okay, people?
Go indulge and list all the lovely small things you like.
Wee.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Montage
Heya.
I've been in a daze the whole day. Don't worry, nothing bad happened. It's just that I slept at 7 and got up about four hours later.
This is my first post from the brand-new, shiny, pretty Acer laptop. I am liking it very much. I've pretty much been glued to the screen and locked in my room. It feels unhealthy though. Ack. And it's only been two days. Anyway, the only thing I don't like about this rectangle-shaped wonder is the fact that its' sound quality sucks. When I say sucks, I actually mean...sucks big time. All my awesome songs sound like the bands are playing live but with really bad feedback and horrible speakers. Oh, and no audience.
Oh well, I'll deal.
You get two guesses for the other reason I can't get enough of this baby. It's pretty much the best way for me to communicate with my favourite one. You were supposed to guess, eh.
Why have I been in a daze. I've been thinking too much. If I didn't tell you this before, let me tell you again. Thinking gets you nowhere. Nofreakin'where. If you were to ask me what exactly it is that I've been thinking about, I wouldn't be able to answer you.
You know how it is when you're right about to fall asleep, and it's like you're seeing a montage of pictures; like a dream that's on fast forward? Kinda like that. Except I'm not even sure what I'm looking at.
Perhaps I need sleep. I woke up today with what felt like one bitch of a hangover. Here's the catch; I didn't drink last night.
Nyahaha.
I'm such a funny little man.
I've been in a daze the whole day. Don't worry, nothing bad happened. It's just that I slept at 7 and got up about four hours later.
This is my first post from the brand-new, shiny, pretty Acer laptop. I am liking it very much. I've pretty much been glued to the screen and locked in my room. It feels unhealthy though. Ack. And it's only been two days. Anyway, the only thing I don't like about this rectangle-shaped wonder is the fact that its' sound quality sucks. When I say sucks, I actually mean...sucks big time. All my awesome songs sound like the bands are playing live but with really bad feedback and horrible speakers. Oh, and no audience.
Oh well, I'll deal.
You get two guesses for the other reason I can't get enough of this baby. It's pretty much the best way for me to communicate with my favourite one. You were supposed to guess, eh.
Why have I been in a daze. I've been thinking too much. If I didn't tell you this before, let me tell you again. Thinking gets you nowhere. Nofreakin'where. If you were to ask me what exactly it is that I've been thinking about, I wouldn't be able to answer you.
You know how it is when you're right about to fall asleep, and it's like you're seeing a montage of pictures; like a dream that's on fast forward? Kinda like that. Except I'm not even sure what I'm looking at.
Perhaps I need sleep. I woke up today with what felt like one bitch of a hangover. Here's the catch; I didn't drink last night.
Nyahaha.
I'm such a funny little man.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Happy Hundreth
Yes. It is my 100th post and it will be like any other post. We'll see at the end.
Note to everybody- (a little late, sorry) I got my 012 number back so please call/sms your number to me if you haven't already. All your numbers are gone. GONE! So if you intend to continue keeping in contact (I don't see why not!), please contact me, thanks.
Here is some fantastical news- I just got my laptop. Wee. You will see me online in the twilight hours of the night. You have been warned. I will bug you if the need arises. You have been warned.
I had a presentation for Pubic Speaking yesterday (I can see you cracking up Syar), it was Informative Speech, so thank the heavens I didn't have to crap of the top of my head. But I still screwed it up (of course you would!); I went too fast and read too much from my 'script'. But in all fairness, there was alot of legal aspects in my speech and you know how complex those clauses are. I chose Sexual Discrimination at the Workplace and I had to mention the Equal Pay Act! Had. To. Well, I had major fun researching for the topic (no, I am not being sarcastic). Susan Faludi is my new heroine. Read her book called Backlash, you will be disgusted with the American Government. And men. But tell me, who isn't disgusted by men. (I can hear you yelling 'Sexist pig!' and 'Man-hater!' but I really don't care). I love one man so he ain't counted. Only sometimes. Nyahaha. I'm kidding. (That's cause he's my little boy). (I can hear cries of "paedophile!" now).
Anyway, I am getting new glasses in two weeks and I looke like the Supreme Overlord King of all Nerds so I love them. So did Mom but she's just happy that nobody's going to want to boink me anymore. Works for me just fine. I hope you know what I meant by boink. If you didn't, come spend 2 hours with me, you'll be an expert on the topic. (No I am not offering to boink you,emotional clove writer, I will just tell you dirty jokes is all).
Should I be doing some kind of special flashback thing because it's my 100th post?
Better yet, I shall tell you what I've been nostalgic about. You wouldn't believe it:
School.
Yea, that's right. In some ways, I am still mourning over the fact that I never really bothered to make the effort to fit in. That too for stupid reasons. Those who went to high school with me will know (all too well). I am aware that I've made this abundantly clear but the nostalgia has been hitting hard (it does that sometimes) these past few days. I see my brother go to school and I wish I was him (except that I would not have chosen to go to an international school). Life was so wonderfully simple, it was me who made it obnoxiously complicated. I blame Evanescence sometimes (have you read their lyrics, I mean, geez woman, stop with the self-pity already!). But no, all jokes aside, I am the only person to blame for it. That's probably why I love college now (at most times, despite the fact that I dislike my major) and I want to enjoy every minute of it because this time next year I'll be in...
Perth.
In some ways, I can't wait. In another way, I don't want to leave home. I don't know what I'll do without everything and everyone here.
(To my dear- I am so happy because I know you'll be there to make it easier for me. Thank you for considering me in your future, it means alot to me).
So, to all the people that I love, help me enjoy my last year here. I'll pay you if you don't do it willingly. Hah. You wish. Well, I want to see everybody as much as possible, if it's not too much to ask for.
Hint- If you take me to a bookstore, I will never forget you. Or Toys R Us (I've recently developed a strange attachment to that place; especially with the stuffed dogs).
I'm kidding, take me anywhere and spend time with me. I'm easy to please.
I'm off, cheers!
Here's to a hundred more. (OH NO!)
Note to everybody- (a little late, sorry) I got my 012 number back so please call/sms your number to me if you haven't already. All your numbers are gone. GONE! So if you intend to continue keeping in contact (I don't see why not!), please contact me, thanks.
Here is some fantastical news- I just got my laptop. Wee. You will see me online in the twilight hours of the night. You have been warned. I will bug you if the need arises. You have been warned.
I had a presentation for Pubic Speaking yesterday (I can see you cracking up Syar), it was Informative Speech, so thank the heavens I didn't have to crap of the top of my head. But I still screwed it up (of course you would!); I went too fast and read too much from my 'script'. But in all fairness, there was alot of legal aspects in my speech and you know how complex those clauses are. I chose Sexual Discrimination at the Workplace and I had to mention the Equal Pay Act! Had. To. Well, I had major fun researching for the topic (no, I am not being sarcastic). Susan Faludi is my new heroine. Read her book called Backlash, you will be disgusted with the American Government. And men. But tell me, who isn't disgusted by men. (I can hear you yelling 'Sexist pig!' and 'Man-hater!' but I really don't care). I love one man so he ain't counted. Only sometimes. Nyahaha. I'm kidding. (That's cause he's my little boy). (I can hear cries of "paedophile!" now).
Anyway, I am getting new glasses in two weeks and I looke like the Supreme Overlord King of all Nerds so I love them. So did Mom but she's just happy that nobody's going to want to boink me anymore. Works for me just fine. I hope you know what I meant by boink. If you didn't, come spend 2 hours with me, you'll be an expert on the topic. (No I am not offering to boink you,emotional clove writer, I will just tell you dirty jokes is all).
Should I be doing some kind of special flashback thing because it's my 100th post?
Better yet, I shall tell you what I've been nostalgic about. You wouldn't believe it:
School.
Yea, that's right. In some ways, I am still mourning over the fact that I never really bothered to make the effort to fit in. That too for stupid reasons. Those who went to high school with me will know (all too well). I am aware that I've made this abundantly clear but the nostalgia has been hitting hard (it does that sometimes) these past few days. I see my brother go to school and I wish I was him (except that I would not have chosen to go to an international school). Life was so wonderfully simple, it was me who made it obnoxiously complicated. I blame Evanescence sometimes (have you read their lyrics, I mean, geez woman, stop with the self-pity already!). But no, all jokes aside, I am the only person to blame for it. That's probably why I love college now (at most times, despite the fact that I dislike my major) and I want to enjoy every minute of it because this time next year I'll be in...
Perth.
In some ways, I can't wait. In another way, I don't want to leave home. I don't know what I'll do without everything and everyone here.
(To my dear- I am so happy because I know you'll be there to make it easier for me. Thank you for considering me in your future, it means alot to me).
So, to all the people that I love, help me enjoy my last year here. I'll pay you if you don't do it willingly. Hah. You wish. Well, I want to see everybody as much as possible, if it's not too much to ask for.
Hint- If you take me to a bookstore, I will never forget you. Or Toys R Us (I've recently developed a strange attachment to that place; especially with the stuffed dogs).
I'm kidding, take me anywhere and spend time with me. I'm easy to please.
I'm off, cheers!
Here's to a hundred more. (OH NO!)
Friday, February 02, 2007
Bring It On Moron
I doubt anything else could go wrong these days, this explains why I'm unusually chirpy. *Cheep cheep*
Hi all, it's been awhile (breaks into song of same name-you know the one by Staind, or was it Staid?).
Here is the most recent update.
My handbag (other right hand, after Payal, of course) was stolen today.
Here's the catch.
It's my bloody fault. Ahhh, confession is good. Try it. Yea it truly is my fault. Long story short, I left my precious unattended for about (maximum) 15 minutes (SCREAM: MILAN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!) and when I came back.......
It was gone.
(Well, really, how did you think that sentence would have ended?)
Here's another catch. It's more like a lump in the throat, voice-catch kinda thing.
I'm in denial about this whole freakin' thing.
And I'm not talking about the handbag.
I have been positively ignoring the fact that Monday is coming.
I am SO good at this. Maybe I should have a class.
KIDS COME LEARN THE ART OF DENIAL!
I bet I'd make millions. And I really need that kind of money (yo, who doesn't?) because the fudger took all of it. Along with my pretty sunglasses. And Body Shop lip balm. Should I continue or you get the picture kiddos?
Something else is bothering me. Eating, eating and eating away at me. If you care, please wait til tomorrow when I get my 012 number back so you can call me and I can sob it out to you.
Nyahahaha.
Yes by the way I'll be reachable only by tomorrow. Sorry.
To Syar- sorry I bailed out on you.
To Payal- sorry I haven't seen you in awhile. I miss you.
To everybody else- Thanks for ...everything.
Emo. You would say.
Hi all, it's been awhile (breaks into song of same name-you know the one by Staind, or was it Staid?).
Here is the most recent update.
My handbag (other right hand, after Payal, of course) was stolen today.
Here's the catch.
It's my bloody fault. Ahhh, confession is good. Try it. Yea it truly is my fault. Long story short, I left my precious unattended for about (maximum) 15 minutes (SCREAM: MILAN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!) and when I came back.......
It was gone.
(Well, really, how did you think that sentence would have ended?)
Here's another catch. It's more like a lump in the throat, voice-catch kinda thing.
I'm in denial about this whole freakin' thing.
And I'm not talking about the handbag.
I have been positively ignoring the fact that Monday is coming.
I am SO good at this. Maybe I should have a class.
KIDS COME LEARN THE ART OF DENIAL!
I bet I'd make millions. And I really need that kind of money (yo, who doesn't?) because the fudger took all of it. Along with my pretty sunglasses. And Body Shop lip balm. Should I continue or you get the picture kiddos?
Something else is bothering me. Eating, eating and eating away at me. If you care, please wait til tomorrow when I get my 012 number back so you can call me and I can sob it out to you.
Nyahahaha.
Yes by the way I'll be reachable only by tomorrow. Sorry.
To Syar- sorry I bailed out on you.
To Payal- sorry I haven't seen you in awhile. I miss you.
To everybody else- Thanks for ...everything.
Emo. You would say.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
It Helps Sometimes
This post is dedicated to all the people leaving for overseas to further their studies.
You're leaving me assholes.
Kidding kidding.
To Daniel Yee, Goh Huay Ming and Vivek Joshi (sniffle), wherever you go, whatever you end up doing (be it an actual job or drug trafficking *kidding again* NOT YOU MISTER VIVEK) remember that you had and have a tiny friend who will never forget you and will always be missing you. You have made an impact on my life and I can only hope that I made a splash in your pond. Or at least a ripple.
I love you, all of you (Vivek the most). Mwahahaha.
Dan,
If you remember, I met you through Ming and you were the ass/hero who taught me how to smoke. I can't decide which one. Haha kidding. Dan, I'll be sad to see you go, I really will. You have come to mean alot to me. Thank you for all the entertainment in class, in my car, the cigarette breaks and the long HP sessions. My car will miss you too. Mommy loves u! (that's not some weird incest thing, by the way, you sickos).
Ming,
Funnily enough, I met you through Navee, do you remember? Can you remember our stats classes with Mr. Krishna? We were the noisiest pair and there was only two of us! Haha, we still are, ei? I will miss hearing about your weird-ass dreams, your rambling on about everything (hehe, kidding kidding, we both do it, don't worry) and I will miss our antics- skipping class to go to Chillies! Hehe. We had some really good times, girly and I hope we can all meet up in Aussie soon enough. Love you ming! Ba-da-boom. (Yes, we are crazy, but proud of it ei?)
And finally...last but not in the bit least...
Vivek,
My dear. What can I say to you? We've only known each other for almost 5 months but it feels like decades and decades, it really does. You've become a best friend to me dear. You really are my better half. You've made my life a million shades brighter and I know it's only going to get better from here. I will miss you like crazy and there will be many times in the months to come I will want nothing more but to run to Perth but I want to assure you that you don't have to worry about me. I will be okay, and I know you will be too. You better be *stern face*. Together we'll make this work and we shall reunite next year. I absolutely can't wait dear.
I love you to the moon.
Collectively, I want to say...
Thank you,
for letting me in your life, for regarding me as a friend and for all the good times.
Sorry,
if and when I have hurt you, either intentionally, or unintentionally, with my words or my actions; I hope you have found it in your hearts to forgive me.
Mil loves you.
You're leaving me assholes.
Kidding kidding.
To Daniel Yee, Goh Huay Ming and Vivek Joshi (sniffle), wherever you go, whatever you end up doing (be it an actual job or drug trafficking *kidding again* NOT YOU MISTER VIVEK) remember that you had and have a tiny friend who will never forget you and will always be missing you. You have made an impact on my life and I can only hope that I made a splash in your pond. Or at least a ripple.
I love you, all of you (Vivek the most). Mwahahaha.
Dan,
If you remember, I met you through Ming and you were the ass/hero who taught me how to smoke. I can't decide which one. Haha kidding. Dan, I'll be sad to see you go, I really will. You have come to mean alot to me. Thank you for all the entertainment in class, in my car, the cigarette breaks and the long HP sessions. My car will miss you too. Mommy loves u! (that's not some weird incest thing, by the way, you sickos).
Ming,
Funnily enough, I met you through Navee, do you remember? Can you remember our stats classes with Mr. Krishna? We were the noisiest pair and there was only two of us! Haha, we still are, ei? I will miss hearing about your weird-ass dreams, your rambling on about everything (hehe, kidding kidding, we both do it, don't worry) and I will miss our antics- skipping class to go to Chillies! Hehe. We had some really good times, girly and I hope we can all meet up in Aussie soon enough. Love you ming! Ba-da-boom. (Yes, we are crazy, but proud of it ei?)
And finally...last but not in the bit least...
Vivek,
My dear. What can I say to you? We've only known each other for almost 5 months but it feels like decades and decades, it really does. You've become a best friend to me dear. You really are my better half. You've made my life a million shades brighter and I know it's only going to get better from here. I will miss you like crazy and there will be many times in the months to come I will want nothing more but to run to Perth but I want to assure you that you don't have to worry about me. I will be okay, and I know you will be too. You better be *stern face*. Together we'll make this work and we shall reunite next year. I absolutely can't wait dear.
I love you to the moon.
Collectively, I want to say...
Thank you,
for letting me in your life, for regarding me as a friend and for all the good times.
Sorry,
if and when I have hurt you, either intentionally, or unintentionally, with my words or my actions; I hope you have found it in your hearts to forgive me.
Mil loves you.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Sprawl
The storm has passed. Let's all take a moment to utter words of gratitude.
*Moment*
*Moment over*
By storm I mean the first two days of my little friends' visit. I have exhausted all names for this damn thing. But boy, what a storm that was! I was obscenely emotional on the first day and inexplicably cranky the next, more than usual for some reason. I don't know, maybe my hormones realized it was January and decided to start the new year off with a bang. Or rather, sudden outbursts of tears and tantrums.
On Sunday (the first day), I took bro to watch Eragon (finally, he's been waiting for a whole month!) and we tried to make it for the 4.15pm show at Midvalley, but well, no one got ready on time. So we tagged along with Dad to Pyramid (he had some crap to do) and got tickets for the 7pm show. Of course for some weird reason (I will always blame the hormones), retail therapy was suddenly not so stupid after all. I was possessed by a really foreign urge to go into every shop and drag my bro along as well. You should have seen him in Topshop, poor guy didn't know where to stand amongst the fashionable and hopelessly ripped off customers. I was not included in this crowd as I came out empty handed (thank God) and well I was never fashionable to begin with.
I did buy the new Fourplay CD and unfortunately didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Oh well. If anyone would like to buy it from me, please tell me, it's brand new.
All said and done, I can't ignore the fact that we're already half-way through January and February looms very near. Nearer than I am comfortable with. And although I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, I dread the coming of February in my dark and weak moments.
Simply because I can't let you go.
Watch out for these headlines:
CRAZY LADY STOPS NICE MAN FROM LEAVING FOR AN OVERSEAS FLIGHT.
mwahahahaha.
I'll be ok, really.
*Moment*
*Moment over*
By storm I mean the first two days of my little friends' visit. I have exhausted all names for this damn thing. But boy, what a storm that was! I was obscenely emotional on the first day and inexplicably cranky the next, more than usual for some reason. I don't know, maybe my hormones realized it was January and decided to start the new year off with a bang. Or rather, sudden outbursts of tears and tantrums.
On Sunday (the first day), I took bro to watch Eragon (finally, he's been waiting for a whole month!) and we tried to make it for the 4.15pm show at Midvalley, but well, no one got ready on time. So we tagged along with Dad to Pyramid (he had some crap to do) and got tickets for the 7pm show. Of course for some weird reason (I will always blame the hormones), retail therapy was suddenly not so stupid after all. I was possessed by a really foreign urge to go into every shop and drag my bro along as well. You should have seen him in Topshop, poor guy didn't know where to stand amongst the fashionable and hopelessly ripped off customers. I was not included in this crowd as I came out empty handed (thank God) and well I was never fashionable to begin with.
I did buy the new Fourplay CD and unfortunately didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Oh well. If anyone would like to buy it from me, please tell me, it's brand new.
All said and done, I can't ignore the fact that we're already half-way through January and February looms very near. Nearer than I am comfortable with. And although I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, I dread the coming of February in my dark and weak moments.
Simply because I can't let you go.
Watch out for these headlines:
CRAZY LADY STOPS NICE MAN FROM LEAVING FOR AN OVERSEAS FLIGHT.
mwahahahaha.
I'll be ok, really.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Must Stop the Spinning
Yellow.
Head is whirling, twirling, tumbling, spinning. Hence the title. Wee.
Why is your head doing all of the above, you might ask.
I am anxious to do so many things that I'm thinking of them all at the same time and going out for some fresh air didn't help much (even though it's a really nice night out, all breezy and cooling) that I felt I must write it has never failed me. Wow, look, a full stop.
Well up til this point, it hasn't failed me. Writing I mean, not the full stops. Ok, still spinning.
Would a to-do list help?
Perhaps. I should try that.
Maybe it's not all the academic stuff that I have to do that's getting my head like this. Maybe it's that big decision I have to make by the end of tonight. I have a deadline too; tomorrow morning. I am not ready to talk about this big decision I have to make, but when I am , I will tell all. Perhaps I won't ever be ready, because seeing it in black and white always makes it scarier. And ten times more real.
I learnt a new word yesterday- diaphanous. It means delicate and semi-transparent. So I haven't been so unproductive, I have expanded my vocabulary! By one word, but still, better than nothing, ei? I hope I spelt it right. Har har. Har.
Well, cool fact, I'm taking Drama this semester and I'm really looking forward to reading all those plays, especially the Shakespearan ones. They sound fantastic. Of course reading alone won't get me the grade I'll have to read out loud (without the text) *insert gasps of horror here* and we all know what a friend Public Speaking is to me. Ah, you dog you. Coincidentally I am also taking Public Speaking this semester so either taking that class will help me with Drama, or Drama will help me in P.S. Or something like that. Today I suggested bringing in some vodka everytime we go in for P.S. to my right hand. I don't think she knew I was only half-kidding. She'd probably agree if I said tequila. Nyahahaha. Well Drama is certainly going to be intriguing. Will keep you posted. Of course I was still moaning about how this is my last ever elective and it isn't even Hopkins' class. Oh well. We always want more, ei?
Must go sort myself out, excuse me.
Take care dearies.
Head is whirling, twirling, tumbling, spinning. Hence the title. Wee.
Why is your head doing all of the above, you might ask.
I am anxious to do so many things that I'm thinking of them all at the same time and going out for some fresh air didn't help much (even though it's a really nice night out, all breezy and cooling) that I felt I must write it has never failed me. Wow, look, a full stop.
Well up til this point, it hasn't failed me. Writing I mean, not the full stops. Ok, still spinning.
Would a to-do list help?
Perhaps. I should try that.
Maybe it's not all the academic stuff that I have to do that's getting my head like this. Maybe it's that big decision I have to make by the end of tonight. I have a deadline too; tomorrow morning. I am not ready to talk about this big decision I have to make, but when I am , I will tell all. Perhaps I won't ever be ready, because seeing it in black and white always makes it scarier. And ten times more real.
I learnt a new word yesterday- diaphanous. It means delicate and semi-transparent. So I haven't been so unproductive, I have expanded my vocabulary! By one word, but still, better than nothing, ei? I hope I spelt it right. Har har. Har.
Well, cool fact, I'm taking Drama this semester and I'm really looking forward to reading all those plays, especially the Shakespearan ones. They sound fantastic. Of course reading alone won't get me the grade I'll have to read out loud (without the text) *insert gasps of horror here* and we all know what a friend Public Speaking is to me. Ah, you dog you. Coincidentally I am also taking Public Speaking this semester so either taking that class will help me with Drama, or Drama will help me in P.S. Or something like that. Today I suggested bringing in some vodka everytime we go in for P.S. to my right hand. I don't think she knew I was only half-kidding. She'd probably agree if I said tequila. Nyahahaha. Well Drama is certainly going to be intriguing. Will keep you posted. Of course I was still moaning about how this is my last ever elective and it isn't even Hopkins' class. Oh well. We always want more, ei?
Must go sort myself out, excuse me.
Take care dearies.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Bombshells and Changes
Hello hello hello!
Happy new year everybody, it ain't gonna be easy, but nothing worth it ever is, but let there be no moments to miss, I'll give you a flying kiss, for good luck and for the times ahead, so get out of your bed, you're missing out, don't make me shout!...
Here's to the year 2007! Wee. Rhyming is fun, try it. My cousin Kashish who's only 7 puts me to shame, she would make one hell of a tiny Sindhi rapper. Beat that kids.
So I got back on the 29th and my comp was being a bitch but now it's all good. She got some lovin' from Alan boy. Think she really likes him, she keeps crashing, must be on purpose so she can see him. Down girl.
I missed KL by the end of my trip, it was absolutely fantastic to come back. I wonder how homesick I'll get in Aussie. Eek. Speaking of bombshells (and not the hot and blonde kind, sorry to disappoint), I received a major one recently, while I was in Hong Kong. To say that my life is changing at the speed of light would be an understatement. But we always bounce back and deal, ei?
The person I am currently joined at the hip with (Siamese twins, nyah!) is moving to Australia to further his studies in February. This is the bomb I was talking about (for some of you slow ones).In a way it was a good thing that I found out while being away from him, so it could give me time to absorb the shock, think about it and realize that everything will turn out fine. Because I'm not giving up what we have- and if he's on the same wavelength then that's the only thing that matters.
Loads to tell as usual but just wanted to say Hi. Hi!! College resumes on Monday and I got good grades this time for my fall semester. Was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it for Motivation but she gave me a C which is more than I deserve. Was really satisfied with results and I have Big Guy up there to thank for it.
*Big wave* Be back soon.
Happy new year everybody, it ain't gonna be easy, but nothing worth it ever is, but let there be no moments to miss, I'll give you a flying kiss, for good luck and for the times ahead, so get out of your bed, you're missing out, don't make me shout!...
Here's to the year 2007! Wee. Rhyming is fun, try it. My cousin Kashish who's only 7 puts me to shame, she would make one hell of a tiny Sindhi rapper. Beat that kids.
So I got back on the 29th and my comp was being a bitch but now it's all good. She got some lovin' from Alan boy. Think she really likes him, she keeps crashing, must be on purpose so she can see him. Down girl.
I missed KL by the end of my trip, it was absolutely fantastic to come back. I wonder how homesick I'll get in Aussie. Eek. Speaking of bombshells (and not the hot and blonde kind, sorry to disappoint), I received a major one recently, while I was in Hong Kong. To say that my life is changing at the speed of light would be an understatement. But we always bounce back and deal, ei?
The person I am currently joined at the hip with (Siamese twins, nyah!) is moving to Australia to further his studies in February. This is the bomb I was talking about (for some of you slow ones).In a way it was a good thing that I found out while being away from him, so it could give me time to absorb the shock, think about it and realize that everything will turn out fine. Because I'm not giving up what we have- and if he's on the same wavelength then that's the only thing that matters.
Loads to tell as usual but just wanted to say Hi. Hi!! College resumes on Monday and I got good grades this time for my fall semester. Was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it for Motivation but she gave me a C which is more than I deserve. Was really satisfied with results and I have Big Guy up there to thank for it.
*Big wave* Be back soon.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Honkified
Here we are, yet again, at a loss for words. Futile promises to finish my story are fruitless indeed.
So much has happened since Wednesday but I'm glad it's all over. Really glad.
I have a new appreciation for the powers that may be. There is something up there, watching over us ungrateful fellas. Trust me on that.
How is Honky-town, you might ask? It is great, actually, thank you. I'm just a tiny bit afraid that I've adjusted to the dress codes so well. I have to say, I am totally honkified. Here is a checklist.
1. I have started carrying three different kinds of lip balm. Just in case.
2. I also keep stock of moisturiser.
3. I have a proper handbag now. Yes, begin the weeping.
4. I actually keep my legs crossed when sitting down.
5. I have boots that are sexy as hell but hurt like a bitch. My toes hate me now.
6. I bump into people regularly and manage to hold a decent conversation that only constitutes of small talk. But small talk is never decent, no?
7. I am starting to enjoy the way my bum freezes over when I take a seat outdoors.
8.I am starting to enjoy the way I freeze over when I am outdoors.
9.I am starting to enjoy the freeze.
10. I eat like a pig but still look like a horse. As far as my eyes can tell.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that the above crap was a way for me to chunk away at what I'm actually feeling.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that I don't know what I'm feeling.
Perhaps the best word is lost.
Us KL people call ourselves city people, but we're not even close. People here are truly hustling their lives away. All I see are rich people hurrying from one place to another.
I can't lie, I love the atmosphere here and the glamour of all the high-end life. I am being treated well because I'm lucky to live with people who can afford it.
But their lives make me sad. Inexplicably sad. Sometimes when I watch them, a small part of me withers and dies, a miniscule portion of my soul becomes hollow and empty. But then I remember that my life is nothing like that, and I hope that it won't ever be like that.
They have everything. Fast car, check. Beautiful house, check. Wads and wads of money, check. Shiny gadgets, check. Expensive handbags, check. Even more expensive wife, check. Bratty children, check.
But they don't have time.
Today I heard the saddest thing.
" I have lived in Hong Kong for more than 20 years, and not once have I taken a walk on the harbour. "
The harbour is basically the jetty, where you can see the skyline and get the whole fantastic view. And a man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse of this because he just can't get away from his job.
This man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse at his family either.
Kids, whatever you do, be good parents. Don't screw your child up. There are ripple effects. The whole world gets hurt.
I'll be back to normal tomorrow. I'm done preaching for today. Actually, I'm not, but it's not the same without my loyal audience.
I got cool souvenirs though! For ALL of you!
p/s- I will read this post next week and wonder why I sounded so emo. Then I will cover my face with my hands and remember that I actually have a choice of posting this up. Then I will groan out loud when I realize that I willingly decided to put this emo piece up.
But I'm trying not to regret what I do.
All in all, this post can't be that embarassing.
Toodles. I'll bring Mil back tomorrow, promise.
So much has happened since Wednesday but I'm glad it's all over. Really glad.
I have a new appreciation for the powers that may be. There is something up there, watching over us ungrateful fellas. Trust me on that.
How is Honky-town, you might ask? It is great, actually, thank you. I'm just a tiny bit afraid that I've adjusted to the dress codes so well. I have to say, I am totally honkified. Here is a checklist.
1. I have started carrying three different kinds of lip balm. Just in case.
2. I also keep stock of moisturiser.
3. I have a proper handbag now. Yes, begin the weeping.
4. I actually keep my legs crossed when sitting down.
5. I have boots that are sexy as hell but hurt like a bitch. My toes hate me now.
6. I bump into people regularly and manage to hold a decent conversation that only constitutes of small talk. But small talk is never decent, no?
7. I am starting to enjoy the way my bum freezes over when I take a seat outdoors.
8.I am starting to enjoy the way I freeze over when I am outdoors.
9.I am starting to enjoy the freeze.
10. I eat like a pig but still look like a horse. As far as my eyes can tell.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that the above crap was a way for me to chunk away at what I'm actually feeling.
If you're smart then you'll figure out that I don't know what I'm feeling.
Perhaps the best word is lost.
Us KL people call ourselves city people, but we're not even close. People here are truly hustling their lives away. All I see are rich people hurrying from one place to another.
I can't lie, I love the atmosphere here and the glamour of all the high-end life. I am being treated well because I'm lucky to live with people who can afford it.
But their lives make me sad. Inexplicably sad. Sometimes when I watch them, a small part of me withers and dies, a miniscule portion of my soul becomes hollow and empty. But then I remember that my life is nothing like that, and I hope that it won't ever be like that.
They have everything. Fast car, check. Beautiful house, check. Wads and wads of money, check. Shiny gadgets, check. Expensive handbags, check. Even more expensive wife, check. Bratty children, check.
But they don't have time.
Today I heard the saddest thing.
" I have lived in Hong Kong for more than 20 years, and not once have I taken a walk on the harbour. "
The harbour is basically the jetty, where you can see the skyline and get the whole fantastic view. And a man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse of this because he just can't get away from his job.
This man I know has never gotten a proper glimpse at his family either.
Kids, whatever you do, be good parents. Don't screw your child up. There are ripple effects. The whole world gets hurt.
I'll be back to normal tomorrow. I'm done preaching for today. Actually, I'm not, but it's not the same without my loyal audience.
I got cool souvenirs though! For ALL of you!
p/s- I will read this post next week and wonder why I sounded so emo. Then I will cover my face with my hands and remember that I actually have a choice of posting this up. Then I will groan out loud when I realize that I willingly decided to put this emo piece up.
But I'm trying not to regret what I do.
All in all, this post can't be that embarassing.
Toodles. I'll bring Mil back tomorrow, promise.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I'll Be Back (Say it Arnold-style)
Hello my little birdies. Tweet tweet.
Ah, allow me to curse for awhile.
Bloody comp won't bloody work and dumb pc guy won't come to our stupid house to fix this stupid comp and it all started when my moron brother decided to play this bloody gay game called bloody maple story.
Ah, thank you, sorry about that. By the way, the game's called Maple Story, not Bloody Maple Story, just in case anybody cares. Har har.
Few quick updates, let me breeze you through it!
Book book book sale was on fri-fri-fri day (just so you know, I'm singing this) and it was a-a-amazing. I need a new book shelf. I also need money. Har har, yes I'm beyond broke. But satisfied. You will see me homeless one day but with a huge wheelbarrow filled to the brim with books. What an endearing sight, no? Then one day a Hollywood guy will meet me on the streets (which will then be my home) and offer to make my life into a movie.
And I shall dream on. Just trying to romanticise my blog. Work with me people!
Long awaited reunion on Saturday and it was better than the book sale. (Really).
Non-stop shopping for Hong Kong trip, in 12 hours from now, I will already be at the airport. Eesh, not really looking forward to it, but it will be absolutely lovely to see my grandparents again. (Cue here for AWWWWW)
Went bra-shopping today and it was quite an experience. Funny and embarassing. Will decide if I want to tell my tale. Call me if you want to hear the embarassing bit, I am not entirely shameless. I think.
Will be back on the 29th, and will probably write in here tomorrow as my family in HK are techies already. They have wonderful broadband, which I plan to abuse to no end. Especially for movies. No, not porn you sickos. Movies with actual plots. Like Hindi movies. They have at least 10 different plots ei? Har har.
And finally, saving the best piece of news for the last. My parents finally know about my relationship with my boy.
And they're ok with it. I know they have a million reasons to be against it, and they could have stopped me (like I can be stopped har har) but they didn't. Mainly, they didn't want me to go behind their backs, but I think they have finally allowed me to grow up in their eyes.
One step at a time people. That's what it takes.
No more time to chit-chat. Must go clean hurricanised room.
See you in Hongky town?
(waits for the chorus of YES)
Ah, allow me to curse for awhile.
Bloody comp won't bloody work and dumb pc guy won't come to our stupid house to fix this stupid comp and it all started when my moron brother decided to play this bloody gay game called bloody maple story.
Ah, thank you, sorry about that. By the way, the game's called Maple Story, not Bloody Maple Story, just in case anybody cares. Har har.
Few quick updates, let me breeze you through it!
Book book book sale was on fri-fri-fri day (just so you know, I'm singing this) and it was a-a-amazing. I need a new book shelf. I also need money. Har har, yes I'm beyond broke. But satisfied. You will see me homeless one day but with a huge wheelbarrow filled to the brim with books. What an endearing sight, no? Then one day a Hollywood guy will meet me on the streets (which will then be my home) and offer to make my life into a movie.
And I shall dream on. Just trying to romanticise my blog. Work with me people!
Long awaited reunion on Saturday and it was better than the book sale. (Really).
Non-stop shopping for Hong Kong trip, in 12 hours from now, I will already be at the airport. Eesh, not really looking forward to it, but it will be absolutely lovely to see my grandparents again. (Cue here for AWWWWW)
Went bra-shopping today and it was quite an experience. Funny and embarassing. Will decide if I want to tell my tale. Call me if you want to hear the embarassing bit, I am not entirely shameless. I think.
Will be back on the 29th, and will probably write in here tomorrow as my family in HK are techies already. They have wonderful broadband, which I plan to abuse to no end. Especially for movies. No, not porn you sickos. Movies with actual plots. Like Hindi movies. They have at least 10 different plots ei? Har har.
And finally, saving the best piece of news for the last. My parents finally know about my relationship with my boy.
And they're ok with it. I know they have a million reasons to be against it, and they could have stopped me (like I can be stopped har har) but they didn't. Mainly, they didn't want me to go behind their backs, but I think they have finally allowed me to grow up in their eyes.
One step at a time people. That's what it takes.
No more time to chit-chat. Must go clean hurricanised room.
See you in Hongky town?
(waits for the chorus of YES)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Thursday Afternoon
Hello folks. My little friend has come to visit and I'm so grumpy. It's the hormones I tell you. I've said that before haven't I. I'm currently abusing my rights as a cousin and happily using Payal's laptop while she has to deal with old people downstairs. But it all worked out fine didn't it girly 'cos I was doing the same thing exactly a month ago. Yes dealing with old people while you stretched out like a queen on my bed. Hahaha. Tit for tat. But I hear mom calling.
Anyhoo, I leave for Hk in a week's time and I am sad to go. But I'm getting roaming (wee!) so we can still keep in contact. I'm still here. In spirit. MILAN IS CHEESY!
I'm coming back on the 29th, and am hoping I can escape the clutches of my dad for New Year's Eve. Now I have someone to spend it with. GRIN GRIN.
I don't wanna go downstairs. But I can hear Mom. In my head. Yesterday we went shopping in MV (mind you, my little friend just began visiting yesterday) and we went everywhere with big shopping bags. My feet! They couldn't bare it any longer!!
Just near this shop called Miss Whatever (OMG HOW ORIGINAL) I couldn't take it anymore. I said Mom, ENOUGH, please! She looked at me. Then she looked at all our bags (we had at least 5) and then she said what all Moms say..."But you need shoes."
ARGHH. Then I spied the bright light in my moment of darkness.....
BASKIN ROBBINS.
Oh, how she called to me. Maui Brownie Madness saw my pain and offered itself to me. He said,"come my child, you need nourishment." And I said, "make sure you appear in a cone or I'm not paying for your ass."
Oh my. Ice cream never tasted better. Then I got the only thing I actually liked- new sneakers wee. They're so manly.
WINK.
Yes yes I'm going. I love you all.
Anyhoo, I leave for Hk in a week's time and I am sad to go. But I'm getting roaming (wee!) so we can still keep in contact. I'm still here. In spirit. MILAN IS CHEESY!
I'm coming back on the 29th, and am hoping I can escape the clutches of my dad for New Year's Eve. Now I have someone to spend it with. GRIN GRIN.
I don't wanna go downstairs. But I can hear Mom. In my head. Yesterday we went shopping in MV (mind you, my little friend just began visiting yesterday) and we went everywhere with big shopping bags. My feet! They couldn't bare it any longer!!
Just near this shop called Miss Whatever (OMG HOW ORIGINAL) I couldn't take it anymore. I said Mom, ENOUGH, please! She looked at me. Then she looked at all our bags (we had at least 5) and then she said what all Moms say..."But you need shoes."
ARGHH. Then I spied the bright light in my moment of darkness.....
BASKIN ROBBINS.
Oh, how she called to me. Maui Brownie Madness saw my pain and offered itself to me. He said,"come my child, you need nourishment." And I said, "make sure you appear in a cone or I'm not paying for your ass."
Oh my. Ice cream never tasted better. Then I got the only thing I actually liked- new sneakers wee. They're so manly.
WINK.
Yes yes I'm going. I love you all.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Don't Use Your Mechanisms On me
I deleted my last post as it is not something I would usually write. God knows what possessed me to write it, perhaps it was a final resort to get my anger out. But there are better ways, and I am a better person than that.
Never mind my last post, God knows what possessed me to do many things I have done. But it happens.
What am I afraid of? Nothing. Not even you. Not anymore.
I forgot something very important. Nothing and no one can break me. And if you're actually trying to break me, then what does that say about you? Not much really.
I can see you there, in your sad place. And I can feel sad for you, I can even try and reach in to pull you out. But if you're still that same old sad little person, then there's no help for you.
I ain't perfect. But I'm not a liar. If there's one thing I can say about myself, it's that I know where and when I go wrong. And I am not afraid to admit it. And if anyone thinks otherwise, please do correct me. I welcome what you have to say, if you matter to me.
Tell me where I went wrong.
Never mind my last post, God knows what possessed me to do many things I have done. But it happens.
What am I afraid of? Nothing. Not even you. Not anymore.
I forgot something very important. Nothing and no one can break me. And if you're actually trying to break me, then what does that say about you? Not much really.
I can see you there, in your sad place. And I can feel sad for you, I can even try and reach in to pull you out. But if you're still that same old sad little person, then there's no help for you.
I ain't perfect. But I'm not a liar. If there's one thing I can say about myself, it's that I know where and when I go wrong. And I am not afraid to admit it. And if anyone thinks otherwise, please do correct me. I welcome what you have to say, if you matter to me.
Tell me where I went wrong.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Bleh
This is a word I use often. It is also a good word to describe these holidays.
Say it with me: BLEH.
My heart goes out to my dear- I hope you are ok and I am going to try and cheer you up through my posts. Har har?
Plenty of updating to do here, first things first- something I'm sure we all looked forward to-
PROM NIGHT.
And how was that? Not bad at all, my friends. Pretty damn good. I only wish I could have stayed longer to see everybody wasted and dancing like clowns. People cried, people laughed, people swayed( due to the excessive alcohol) and people err...blended with the shadows (my new name is Shadow I think, for a very good reason..you'll figure it out someday, kid.)
So I owe you a report of prom night, a report of my skit at IGYC, a report of my hol activites and many many book reviews. Hee hee, don't worry you can skip those.
Most exciting part of my day so far: I finally got some eye drops, my eyes have been itching like crazy and they look terribly swollen now, like I've been crying for about 4 hours non-stop. I haven't.
Don't feel bad for me though, it's only 2pm.
I might just get dishwash liquid and then you can get really excited.
Say it with me: BLEH.
My heart goes out to my dear- I hope you are ok and I am going to try and cheer you up through my posts. Har har?
Plenty of updating to do here, first things first- something I'm sure we all looked forward to-
PROM NIGHT.
And how was that? Not bad at all, my friends. Pretty damn good. I only wish I could have stayed longer to see everybody wasted and dancing like clowns. People cried, people laughed, people swayed( due to the excessive alcohol) and people err...blended with the shadows (my new name is Shadow I think, for a very good reason..you'll figure it out someday, kid.)
So I owe you a report of prom night, a report of my skit at IGYC, a report of my hol activites and many many book reviews. Hee hee, don't worry you can skip those.
Most exciting part of my day so far: I finally got some eye drops, my eyes have been itching like crazy and they look terribly swollen now, like I've been crying for about 4 hours non-stop. I haven't.
Don't feel bad for me though, it's only 2pm.
I might just get dishwash liquid and then you can get really excited.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Nervous Laughter
HARR HARR!
Here is an update on the International Youth Geeta Conference (IYGC) that I mentioned in an earlier post. It is the very first, organized by the Geeta Ashram of Malaysia and it will start today(tonight, to be specific) and run til Sunday afternoon. There will be people from all over Asia attending this conference from countries like Singapore, Hong Kong, India etc. The theme is Answers to Life and is focused more on youths and how the Geeta can help with their uncertainties.
Here's a link for more information- http://www.hal-pc.org/~ganesh/klconf.html
Here's the best part- Payal and I were requested to do a little skit. So we did our little skit, still preparing. We just finished writing it out, and it's already Friday.
Here's a better part- Vaanavil might be covering this event which means that we might just be able to make a fool out of ourselves on national television. Oh my.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Here's the cherry on top of my cake- Mom walked in earlier and told me in the sweetest voice-
"Mil, I know you get very nervous in front of crowds, and there's going to be a huge crowd tonight, but don't worry, just do it like you did in September in the Ashram."
Hey mom, thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
I'm going to go giggle like a girl.
Oh My.
I need all the luck in the world people, bring it on. Say a prayer for me. Say a million.
Thanks.
I know, I know I should be more optimistic but it's the gigantic crowd.
All eyes on me.
I'll shrink. Tiny Mil will be Tinier Mil in no time!!
In I go to the washing machine. Har har.
p/s- PROM is tomorrow! Cannot wait. Wink. Slinkyyy
Here is an update on the International Youth Geeta Conference (IYGC) that I mentioned in an earlier post. It is the very first, organized by the Geeta Ashram of Malaysia and it will start today(tonight, to be specific) and run til Sunday afternoon. There will be people from all over Asia attending this conference from countries like Singapore, Hong Kong, India etc. The theme is Answers to Life and is focused more on youths and how the Geeta can help with their uncertainties.
Here's a link for more information- http://www.hal-pc.org/~ganesh/klconf.html
Here's the best part- Payal and I were requested to do a little skit. So we did our little skit, still preparing. We just finished writing it out, and it's already Friday.
Here's a better part- Vaanavil might be covering this event which means that we might just be able to make a fool out of ourselves on national television. Oh my.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Here's the cherry on top of my cake- Mom walked in earlier and told me in the sweetest voice-
"Mil, I know you get very nervous in front of crowds, and there's going to be a huge crowd tonight, but don't worry, just do it like you did in September in the Ashram."
Hey mom, thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
I'm going to go giggle like a girl.
Oh My.
I need all the luck in the world people, bring it on. Say a prayer for me. Say a million.
Thanks.
I know, I know I should be more optimistic but it's the gigantic crowd.
All eyes on me.
I'll shrink. Tiny Mil will be Tinier Mil in no time!!
In I go to the washing machine. Har har.
p/s- PROM is tomorrow! Cannot wait. Wink. Slinkyyy
Monday, December 04, 2006
Serene
Hello all!
Just wanted to say, I was exaggerating when I said I was traumatized, I was shocked yes, but I was just dramatizing myself. Hehe. Life goes on, eh?
It's been a rollercoaster for the past 5 days but I learnt alot and it was certainly an experience.
What did I do in these 5 days? Here's a cute little list. I love lists, don't you? But numbers do not turn me on, I repeat, do NOT. Do not give me math I will scream. Or run away. Both, probably.
1. Ate like a tanker or somebody who has never seen food in her life. Ate all kinds of junk too, my tummy must look like the pantry of Bullimic-Binge lady. Sorry sorry, bad joke. I am not judging you people, but food is NOT love! I will keep telling myself that.
2. Watched a few movies (refer to previous post for details)
3. Read and finished Misery by Stephen King and started on Sightings by Susan Trott. Misery was awesome.
4. Actually started my Lab Report for Human Motivation but the Lord only knows when I will complete it. I will. It'll kill me, but I will.
5. Went to the cinema (Gold Class, baby!) to watch Casino Royale and fell asleep almost immediately. Yes, only Mil could do that. You should have been there when I fell asleep in Madagascar at the Amcorp Cineplex. It was classic- and nobody saw because I put on my cap. Genius aren't I? I missed all the dance moves!
6. Played Speed with my brother- and won! Not much of a challenge, I told him this is the one game where you don't have to think, just put the damn cards down! Probably why I'm good at it. Har har.
7. Sang continuously in my car while driving places, because this is one of the places where I'm reminded most of someone special. I got the most wonderful glares (oh right, the windows were down).
8. Downloaded a whole bunch of sad songs, probably not the most wisest decision but they're all pretty songs and music always makes you feel good.
9. Went shopping for prom and got the most slinkiest dress I have ever laid eyes on. And I wonder if I'll have the guts to wear it or the confidence to pull it off. It is probably the least I will ever wear except to the beach. I promise pictures. Hint- it has no back. Seriously.
10. Spoke to Jacq and was wonderfully happy! Thanks Jacq for calling!
11. Went for about 4 mamak visits all by myself, just to get a coffee fix and ....ok ok the nicotine fix too.
12. Sorry to disappoint, but probably overdid it with the cigarettes, especially last week. Made up for it by hardly smoking during the weekend.
13. Attended both of my last classes- H.M. on Thursday and Interactive on Friday- proud to say I did not even leave early for Interactive, I stayed to the very end. Must say that Mr. W redeemed himself.
14. Started on the little skit that me and Payal have to do for the IYGC (International Youth Geetha Conference) on Friday, 8th December 2006. Will put up more details later.
15. After classes on Friday, I dropped a friend home in Pantai and got lost in a village; an actual village. I was disappointed because I did not see any cattle but saw satellite dishes instead.
16. After coming back to the village I like the most- Bangsar Village (har har- us city girls!) I went grocery shopping and bought three measly items- cereal, juice and Hungarian paprika which I found out that I had already bought. It's ok it gets better as I stepped into MPH and got seduced by all those self-help books. This was followed by a wonderfully greasy cheesy 'dog on a stick. I love those things.
17. I started to pray more, I'm not sure if this means anything.
18. I bonded with Dad, one of those rare moments where he was home the same time I was. Hee haw, like father, like daughter. If I had been a boy (and this is not denying the fact that I am half a man) I would look exactly like him because inside, we're so alike.
19. I actually played the piano, poor thing thought I forgot her. But I could never do that, precious. *Cackles to herself*.
So what would I like to do more now that I've had the time to sift out my 'real' interests?
1. Go grocery shopping again.
2. Read more. Period.
3. Play the piano more often than when the blue moon reappears.
4. If I want to read more, then I probably want to write more too.
5. Spend more time with family.
6. Watch more movies.
Bottomline: Stop falling asleep so early in the night because I notice I've been doing that alot more now. Love hormones? (PEA or epinephrine, Ming??) HAHA.
Ta!
Just wanted to say, I was exaggerating when I said I was traumatized, I was shocked yes, but I was just dramatizing myself. Hehe. Life goes on, eh?
It's been a rollercoaster for the past 5 days but I learnt alot and it was certainly an experience.
What did I do in these 5 days? Here's a cute little list. I love lists, don't you? But numbers do not turn me on, I repeat, do NOT. Do not give me math I will scream. Or run away. Both, probably.
1. Ate like a tanker or somebody who has never seen food in her life. Ate all kinds of junk too, my tummy must look like the pantry of Bullimic-Binge lady. Sorry sorry, bad joke. I am not judging you people, but food is NOT love! I will keep telling myself that.
2. Watched a few movies (refer to previous post for details)
3. Read and finished Misery by Stephen King and started on Sightings by Susan Trott. Misery was awesome.
4. Actually started my Lab Report for Human Motivation but the Lord only knows when I will complete it. I will. It'll kill me, but I will.
5. Went to the cinema (Gold Class, baby!) to watch Casino Royale and fell asleep almost immediately. Yes, only Mil could do that. You should have been there when I fell asleep in Madagascar at the Amcorp Cineplex. It was classic- and nobody saw because I put on my cap. Genius aren't I? I missed all the dance moves!
6. Played Speed with my brother- and won! Not much of a challenge, I told him this is the one game where you don't have to think, just put the damn cards down! Probably why I'm good at it. Har har.
7. Sang continuously in my car while driving places, because this is one of the places where I'm reminded most of someone special. I got the most wonderful glares (oh right, the windows were down).
8. Downloaded a whole bunch of sad songs, probably not the most wisest decision but they're all pretty songs and music always makes you feel good.
9. Went shopping for prom and got the most slinkiest dress I have ever laid eyes on. And I wonder if I'll have the guts to wear it or the confidence to pull it off. It is probably the least I will ever wear except to the beach. I promise pictures. Hint- it has no back. Seriously.
10. Spoke to Jacq and was wonderfully happy! Thanks Jacq for calling!
11. Went for about 4 mamak visits all by myself, just to get a coffee fix and ....ok ok the nicotine fix too.
12. Sorry to disappoint, but probably overdid it with the cigarettes, especially last week. Made up for it by hardly smoking during the weekend.
13. Attended both of my last classes- H.M. on Thursday and Interactive on Friday- proud to say I did not even leave early for Interactive, I stayed to the very end. Must say that Mr. W redeemed himself.
14. Started on the little skit that me and Payal have to do for the IYGC (International Youth Geetha Conference) on Friday, 8th December 2006. Will put up more details later.
15. After classes on Friday, I dropped a friend home in Pantai and got lost in a village; an actual village. I was disappointed because I did not see any cattle but saw satellite dishes instead.
16. After coming back to the village I like the most- Bangsar Village (har har- us city girls!) I went grocery shopping and bought three measly items- cereal, juice and Hungarian paprika which I found out that I had already bought. It's ok it gets better as I stepped into MPH and got seduced by all those self-help books. This was followed by a wonderfully greasy cheesy 'dog on a stick. I love those things.
17. I started to pray more, I'm not sure if this means anything.
18. I bonded with Dad, one of those rare moments where he was home the same time I was. Hee haw, like father, like daughter. If I had been a boy (and this is not denying the fact that I am half a man) I would look exactly like him because inside, we're so alike.
19. I actually played the piano, poor thing thought I forgot her. But I could never do that, precious. *Cackles to herself*.
So what would I like to do more now that I've had the time to sift out my 'real' interests?
1. Go grocery shopping again.
2. Read more. Period.
3. Play the piano more often than when the blue moon reappears.
4. If I want to read more, then I probably want to write more too.
5. Spend more time with family.
6. Watch more movies.
Bottomline: Stop falling asleep so early in the night because I notice I've been doing that alot more now. Love hormones? (PEA or epinephrine, Ming??) HAHA.
Ta!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Confessions of A Procrastinator cum Reality Escapist/Moron
Dear blog,
I have to speak now or forever hold my peace. Or I have to deal with that friggin' annoying nag. My own conscience. I honestly didn't know I had one. Ah, but writing this out will help i know. So tell me, do you know anybody stupid enough to read a book about procrastination, pick the same book to write a review on, and still manage to procrastinate on handing in the assignment?
Yea I know somebody like that. Think you know him (her?! HIM! HER!!) It must be all the sleeping I did two nights in a row. Just for the sake of defending myself, (by the way I hate to do this, when i mess up, I truly know that I do and I don't usually bother making excuses for it) I was sick two nights ago. BUT, yes , I could have started earlier.
I have an apology to make to myself. I let myself down. I am not going to sit here and moan about it, I'm going to finish the damn thing and I know i will. I'm going to park my butt here and not go anywhere (or surf the net, check friendster, look at pictures of my cicak or go to my inbox) until I am DONE.
But let me finish telling you about my sin ( I am NOT laughing right now and neither should you, dumbass). So I got off to a really good start, you know? I picked out the book, I read it, I was doing ok with other work, it was just when I saw the deadline come closer, I felt myself get all phobic again. It's like I'm afraid of even coming here to start typing the damn thing. It's horrible I know. Everytime a deadline looms large in front of my eyes I sleep more, I eat more, I spend more time outside than necessary and I end up knowing exactly what is on tv (I barely watch tv, so what the hell is up with that?).
I can't ask anybody to smack sense into me but myself. Why? I know plenty of people who would be willing to do that for me (I know plenty of people just waiting to smack me, period) but I feel like I need to do this for myself. If I have to be punished, so be it. If someone were to nag me, or to become my cheerleader, I'd probably do it because I'd feel bad for letting that person down. So it wouldn't be for myself and what am I going to do when that person isn't around the next time?
Phew, well I feel better already and ARGH I'm almost there. GRRRRAAAAWWWR.
Maybe I should actually scream for real. That would help, no?
Time Crisis, here I come.
On a sidenote, to the people who are reading this (and to you dear, yes you I know you're reading this) you are in no way responsible for me being a pushover. It is me, all me. I am the culprit. I am also, unfortunately, the victim. But nobody is to blame except for Mil.
And there will be no more of this. I promise you and I promise me.
You are more than welcome to smack me around a bit, thanks.
I have to speak now or forever hold my peace. Or I have to deal with that friggin' annoying nag. My own conscience. I honestly didn't know I had one. Ah, but writing this out will help i know. So tell me, do you know anybody stupid enough to read a book about procrastination, pick the same book to write a review on, and still manage to procrastinate on handing in the assignment?
Yea I know somebody like that. Think you know him (her?! HIM! HER!!) It must be all the sleeping I did two nights in a row. Just for the sake of defending myself, (by the way I hate to do this, when i mess up, I truly know that I do and I don't usually bother making excuses for it) I was sick two nights ago. BUT, yes , I could have started earlier.
I have an apology to make to myself. I let myself down. I am not going to sit here and moan about it, I'm going to finish the damn thing and I know i will. I'm going to park my butt here and not go anywhere (or surf the net, check friendster, look at pictures of my cicak or go to my inbox) until I am DONE.
But let me finish telling you about my sin ( I am NOT laughing right now and neither should you, dumbass). So I got off to a really good start, you know? I picked out the book, I read it, I was doing ok with other work, it was just when I saw the deadline come closer, I felt myself get all phobic again. It's like I'm afraid of even coming here to start typing the damn thing. It's horrible I know. Everytime a deadline looms large in front of my eyes I sleep more, I eat more, I spend more time outside than necessary and I end up knowing exactly what is on tv (I barely watch tv, so what the hell is up with that?).
I can't ask anybody to smack sense into me but myself. Why? I know plenty of people who would be willing to do that for me (I know plenty of people just waiting to smack me, period) but I feel like I need to do this for myself. If I have to be punished, so be it. If someone were to nag me, or to become my cheerleader, I'd probably do it because I'd feel bad for letting that person down. So it wouldn't be for myself and what am I going to do when that person isn't around the next time?
Phew, well I feel better already and ARGH I'm almost there. GRRRRAAAAWWWR.
Maybe I should actually scream for real. That would help, no?
Time Crisis, here I come.
On a sidenote, to the people who are reading this (and to you dear, yes you I know you're reading this) you are in no way responsible for me being a pushover. It is me, all me. I am the culprit. I am also, unfortunately, the victim. But nobody is to blame except for Mil.
And there will be no more of this. I promise you and I promise me.
You are more than welcome to smack me around a bit, thanks.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Oblivionism
Hello to you and to you. And to you *points to far end of room*. Didn't see you there what with the smoke blocking your face and all. You chimney you.
As noted by someone who comes by here pretty often, my blog has been quite a hotspot- in a bad way I guess. So much drama! Hrmm. Well, I was overwhelmed with your concern, thank you. Whether I was wrong or right, I guess I'll never know, but thanks for backing me up no matter what.
Days go by faster and faster, soon it will be the end of November, which will bring us to December. Only a year left til' I have to go. Damn.
It's been a crazy week sometimes I wish I could just block it all out. But reality is reality, there's no escaping it. I've learnt that the hard way. Although I have been pretty good at hiding from Reality's nosey touch, I can't run very far away. Can I, you son of a gun.
I don't want to grow up. Let's freeze.
As noted by someone who comes by here pretty often, my blog has been quite a hotspot- in a bad way I guess. So much drama! Hrmm. Well, I was overwhelmed with your concern, thank you. Whether I was wrong or right, I guess I'll never know, but thanks for backing me up no matter what.
Days go by faster and faster, soon it will be the end of November, which will bring us to December. Only a year left til' I have to go. Damn.
It's been a crazy week sometimes I wish I could just block it all out. But reality is reality, there's no escaping it. I've learnt that the hard way. Although I have been pretty good at hiding from Reality's nosey touch, I can't run very far away. Can I, you son of a gun.
I don't want to grow up. Let's freeze.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Randomness
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
I get that way at times but it's all good.
2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Err...that might just be me. But my brother is catching up
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyones face?
*Shameful* Yes. But I don't remember who it was and what the unfortunate item was that had to collide with the face. Nyah.
4. Does your face turn red when you blush?
Oh goodness, yes it's like I'm on fire. In all the bad ways.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
Ooo, to stare angrily. It gives me much satisfaction to see my minions squirm uncomfortably. On second thought it feels great to yell too. I am such an angry man.
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surpriseparty for you?
Oh yea, and they were both lovely. Both sponsored by my parents. People love me!
2. Are you easily excited?
Excited's not the word, I'd say easy to please.
3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
Friday because only you could get me to hop up and down and squeal like a pig in mud.
4. Which of your friends is most excitable?
Without a doubt, Ming.
5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
Holy Shit. Second thought: I'm Robin Hood and I want to buy you lunch.
6. If you could have anything right now,what would it be?
A smile on my darling's face.
SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name? Silly-billy-milly
2. Where were you born?
In a land called Malaysia, in a state called Selangor and in an area called Kelana Jaya.
3. What's your main goal in life?
To give out some goodness to the world for it has been good to me.
4. Do you want to have children?-
Absofrigginlutely.
5. How do you want to die?
Surrounded by the ones I love.
OPINIONS.
1. Sex before marriage?
Without the right person can be fatal.
2. Lower the drinking age?
Oh nono, can you imagine 16 year olds running wild and drunk?
3. War?
Is so unnecessary and so fascist.
4. Recycling?
Is something we never do.
LOVE
1. Do you have a crush?
A big one.
2. Who is the best hugger that you know?
Me actually I tend to squeeze the life out of you.
Q&A
Q: How many beds were you in yesterday?
I remember just one.
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
Dark blue.
Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
Drive.
Q: I can't wait till...?
Friday. Wee.
Q: Who got you to join Friendster?
One of my high school friends, because Fster was so totally cool ei?
Q: Is Jack on your friends list?
No, but I have a Sebastian. Hehe.
Q: Look to your left. What's there?
My pretty purple curtains.
Q: What's the last thing you borrowedfromsomeone?
Nimmy's hair thing that looks like a weapon.
Q: What website(s) do you visit themost?
TV Links.
Q: Most recent time you were really upset?
Last Saturday because it happens.
_______Last________
1.Person you saw last in your family:
Mommy, Pops and bro.
2. Hugged:
Ashy.
3. Movie watched:
Fantastic 4. Eh, first one was better, movie-wise and Alba-wise.
4. Song you listened to:
Jhalak Dikhlaja-Himesh Reshamiya.
_______Today________
1. What are you doing now?
Boring you and refusing to look at my Human Comm book.
2. What are you doing tonight:
Pretending to look at my Human Comm book. Okok i study. Hee.
3. What are you going to eat fordinner?
Me had fish.
4. What are you doing tomorrow?
Meeting Ming at Hanky-Panky. =D And waiting for Friday.
I get that way at times but it's all good.
2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Err...that might just be me. But my brother is catching up
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyones face?
*Shameful* Yes. But I don't remember who it was and what the unfortunate item was that had to collide with the face. Nyah.
4. Does your face turn red when you blush?
Oh goodness, yes it's like I'm on fire. In all the bad ways.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
Ooo, to stare angrily. It gives me much satisfaction to see my minions squirm uncomfortably. On second thought it feels great to yell too. I am such an angry man.
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surpriseparty for you?
Oh yea, and they were both lovely. Both sponsored by my parents. People love me!
2. Are you easily excited?
Excited's not the word, I'd say easy to please.
3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
Friday because only you could get me to hop up and down and squeal like a pig in mud.
4. Which of your friends is most excitable?
Without a doubt, Ming.
5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
Holy Shit. Second thought: I'm Robin Hood and I want to buy you lunch.
6. If you could have anything right now,what would it be?
A smile on my darling's face.
SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name? Silly-billy-milly
2. Where were you born?
In a land called Malaysia, in a state called Selangor and in an area called Kelana Jaya.
3. What's your main goal in life?
To give out some goodness to the world for it has been good to me.
4. Do you want to have children?-
Absofrigginlutely.
5. How do you want to die?
Surrounded by the ones I love.
OPINIONS.
1. Sex before marriage?
Without the right person can be fatal.
2. Lower the drinking age?
Oh nono, can you imagine 16 year olds running wild and drunk?
3. War?
Is so unnecessary and so fascist.
4. Recycling?
Is something we never do.
LOVE
1. Do you have a crush?
A big one.
2. Who is the best hugger that you know?
Me actually I tend to squeeze the life out of you.
Q&A
Q: How many beds were you in yesterday?
I remember just one.
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
Dark blue.
Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
Drive.
Q: I can't wait till...?
Friday. Wee.
Q: Who got you to join Friendster?
One of my high school friends, because Fster was so totally cool ei?
Q: Is Jack on your friends list?
No, but I have a Sebastian. Hehe.
Q: Look to your left. What's there?
My pretty purple curtains.
Q: What's the last thing you borrowedfromsomeone?
Nimmy's hair thing that looks like a weapon.
Q: What website(s) do you visit themost?
TV Links.
Q: Most recent time you were really upset?
Last Saturday because it happens.
_______Last________
1.Person you saw last in your family:
Mommy, Pops and bro.
2. Hugged:
Ashy.
3. Movie watched:
Fantastic 4. Eh, first one was better, movie-wise and Alba-wise.
4. Song you listened to:
Jhalak Dikhlaja-Himesh Reshamiya.
_______Today________
1. What are you doing now?
Boring you and refusing to look at my Human Comm book.
2. What are you doing tonight:
Pretending to look at my Human Comm book. Okok i study. Hee.
3. What are you going to eat fordinner?
Me had fish.
4. What are you doing tomorrow?
Meeting Ming at Hanky-Panky. =D And waiting for Friday.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Thread
I am made up of thread, seemingly flimsy, but on closer look,
it is strong.
Strong thread spun from experience, big and bigger mistakes, but most importantly,
love.
Over the years I tried to stick shells to the thread, but somebody took out these shells.
Resilient now but with no shells.
You took down that hard surface and now I have no armour.
But I have my thread.
Sometimes there are things that try to attack my thread, but I allow it to bounce.
Bounce, bounce.
Bounces once, twice, three times.
No matter what, my thread stays the same, only growing stronger each day.
Sometimes there are things that try to break it.
But how do break something thats only in my head?
You can't cut it, it will only sew itself back together.
You can't smash it, it is too tiny for your violence.
You can't wrestle it off me, because what is mine you shouldn't take.
So no matter what, you can't destroy what is already meant to be there.
I ask for you to respect my thread and yours will grow to be like mine too.
it is strong.
Strong thread spun from experience, big and bigger mistakes, but most importantly,
love.
Over the years I tried to stick shells to the thread, but somebody took out these shells.
Resilient now but with no shells.
You took down that hard surface and now I have no armour.
But I have my thread.
Sometimes there are things that try to attack my thread, but I allow it to bounce.
Bounce, bounce.
Bounces once, twice, three times.
No matter what, my thread stays the same, only growing stronger each day.
Sometimes there are things that try to break it.
But how do break something thats only in my head?
You can't cut it, it will only sew itself back together.
You can't smash it, it is too tiny for your violence.
You can't wrestle it off me, because what is mine you shouldn't take.
So no matter what, you can't destroy what is already meant to be there.
I ask for you to respect my thread and yours will grow to be like mine too.
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